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Found and Lost
Posted: 07 October 2005
Word Count: 73
Summary: I met a girl while in the USA, we clicked I thought but I guess I kind of let her go by. Do you find yourself constantly embarressing yourself by trying not to embarress yourself, or is it just me?
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She's leaving.
I know I want her, I know she wants me.
We clicked.
Want to break away with her, but don't know how.
Eyes locked.
Waiting for an opportunity, that never comes.
Gentle touch.
Aching to go with her, but I can't take the risk.
Glances swapped.
We'll stay in contact, until we move on.
Memories faded.
Her face was all I could see, I don't know it no more.
She's gone.
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Comments by other Members
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 Ambitions of Lisa at 14:06 on 07 October 2005
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Aww this is really sweet... u kept that one quiet Mister! Haha!
I like the short line, long line structure..
Lis
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 joanie at 17:36 on 07 October 2005
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Stephen, I agree; I like the structure very much. ...also the first line/last line contrast.
Poignant.
joanie
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Shika at 20:30 on 07 October 2005
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Hi there
Nice to know that men go through this too. I really got the sense of something slipping through your fingers in a short space of time. S
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 James Graham at 15:24 on 08 October 2005
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Did you set out to write the poem in this form, or did it just seem to slip into this form as you wrote it? You know, sometimes you start to write unsure of what shape, if any, the poem is going to take, and then you find that the words and the lines seem to slip into a pattern of their own accord.
Whichever it was, the long and short lines are right for this poem. The long lines convey open-ended things - feelings, longings - and the short lines are moments, happenings, like 'Eyes locked' or 'Gentle touch'. There's a tension in the whole poem between the long-line things, the things that go on and on such as longing and of course memory, and the short-line, short-lived, things. The form fits the idea of the poem very snugly.
James.
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hailfabio at 19:47 on 08 October 2005
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James
This is exactly how it came out origionally, i think poetry is much stronger when you are clear about what you want to get over and feel passion about the subject.
That's how this worked out, was very easy to write.
Stephen
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engldolph at 17:40 on 09 October 2005
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Stephen,
Sharply written. A feeling, a common one for many, well captured. Like others, I liked the structure..really fits that constrast between immediate action/reactions, and the longer, slwoer, agonizing in between.
Enjoyed
Mike
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