Login   Sign Up 



 

Footprints in the Sand

by Ambitions of Lisa 

Posted: 03 October 2005
Word Count: 166
Summary: Inspired by a recent trip to Margarita Island, Venezuela.


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Dawn wipes out the night sky
Streaking the horizon
With vibrant fiery shades
Of reds, pinks and orange
As birdsong breaks the silence

As life wakes up to a new day
Rising with the sun
The waves now calm
After thrashing the shoreline
Blinded by the dark of night

Now visible are the golden grains
Speckled with pebbles and shells
A gift from the Ocean
To the shadows of palm trees
Shading bronzed bodies

A bead of sweat on my back
As the midday rays strengthen
I escape to the waves for relief
Sun worshippers drench their reddening skin
In the cool waters of the Caribbean

A backdrop, mountainous and lush
Like an idyllic postcard scene
My dreams seem possible now
As I observe the beauty
Tropical horizons of perfect escapism

As the day draws to a close
I retrace my footprints in the sand
As the shades of dawn’s sunrise reappear
Now in the form of a stunning sunset
Disappearing with a cooling summer breeze






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



joanie at 19:20 on 03 October 2005  Report this post
Hi Lisa. I want to go there - now! I enjoyed the sensuality of this; I felt it all.
A bead of sweat on my back
As the midday rays strengthen
I escape to the waves for relief
Sun worshippers drench their reddening skin
In the cool waters of the Caribbean
Mmmmm...

I notice that you haven't punctuated at all. Interesting, because normally I would say that I prefer to punctuate as in prose, but I think this works very well. I am wondering about the capitals; why not go the whole hog and get rid of them?

My daughter is planning her holiday for next year and wants to go to this sort of region; I will print this off to see if it tempts her.

Enjoyable.

joanie

Ambitions of Lisa at 09:05 on 04 October 2005  Report this post
Thanks Joanie.. I only returned on Thursday last week so wanted to write this as it was all still fresh in my mind.
Lis
:)

lang-lad at 09:59 on 04 October 2005  Report this post
Lisa,
"...blinded by the dark of night ...." I loved that image and whole idea of a turbulent sea thrashing about in a panic but, with the light, finding peace and insight - which you of course carry through to the narrator. I agree with joanie who picked up on the sensuality of it too. I endorse that as well.
Excellent.
eliza





Ambitions of Lisa at 10:15 on 04 October 2005  Report this post
Thanks Eliza,

I'm glad I managed to get the images and the feeling across as I'd hoped with this piece.

Lis

Ticonderoga at 16:13 on 05 October 2005  Report this post
Very vivid and painterly. Really felt I was on the beach! Lovely.

best,

Mike

Ambitions of Lisa at 08:56 on 06 October 2005  Report this post
Thanks Mike, was hoping it would come across the way you said it did. :)

Lis


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .