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Black Petticoats
Posted: 27 July 2003
Word Count: 154
Summary: I won't tell you what this is actually about - I'm interested to see what people read into it. It's only at its second draft stage and may evolve into an entirely different poem. Please let me know what you think.
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I hold a brittle leaf up to the sky,
it's September,
and see the fading tawny light
reveal its skeletal frailty:
the black lace of an old petticoat
split and torn. Through its spindly web
I see her.
Bitter air
cuts the smothering balm of the sun
With a sharp tingle of salt
In my face.
In my hair,
twisting knots from damp fibres
that lash and mesh like the coarse plastic nets
that cling to windows and gutters and roofs
that grab at small legs,
prevent the thick
throbbing mass
of starlings
from making a home.
Out there she stands
feeling no age, wading in the icy water,
her skirts hitched up
revealing naughty black petticoats
that no-one wears anymore;
that were the scorn of the town
when she was young.
Waves slap and push
at her wrinkled brown knees:
she refuses to topple because
this is her home.
But she will.
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Comments by other Members
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 Ellenna at 16:24 on 27 July 2003
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well at the risk of everyone
laughing their heads off I wondered if this was Brighton pier ....?
::: sigh::::
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Lisa at 16:28 on 27 July 2003
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West Pier - yes!
(not Place Pier which is now called Brighton Pier - although they've both had a battering recently)
I was just in the process of editing it. Would love your thoughts on the actual structure of the poem - what works and what doesn't? What atmosphere have I created?
Thanks, Ellenna
Cheers
Lisa
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Lisa at 16:30 on 27 July 2003
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It was obviously less cryptic than I thought - not necessarily a bad thing, mind.
:)
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Ellenna at 16:35 on 27 July 2003
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phew Lisa....well I sensed the faded glory of edwardian style ( i hope thats what it was or victorian ?!) no doubt someone will put me straight.. is there an architect in the house?.... the black metal meshwork falling into the sea..wonderful " naughty black petticoats" of this grand old dame.. and I love the way you start with the leaf in autumn reduced to a skeleton.... the comparison is great and i for one can visualise it all...
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Lisa at 16:44 on 27 July 2003
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Thanks Ellenna,
Appreciate your comments. Anything not working? I'm not a hundred percent sure about the last few lines, myself.
Lisa
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olebut at 16:56 on 27 July 2003
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You mean they have changed the name that has stood for what is it 125 years from the Palace Pier to Brighton pier what idiot I wonder was responsible for that?
Lisa a beutiful dare I say epitaph perhaps you should submit it to the Trust that is still I believe attempting to save what remains of the Grand Old lady. One slight coment when she was young would she hae had wrinkled brown knees? would they not have still been pristinely painted? but otherwise I love the image you project.
Brighton's history with piers is something to behold, from the chain pier that predated both of the 'New Piers' the volks railway which of course was preceeded by the daddy long legs railway which ran from the end of the chain pier to Black Rock, before the pier was lost, although you can still see the base stones for the track of the railway at low tide.
Yes I too spent many happy times on the front at Brighton, especialy when it wasnt full of grockles, DT's and HM's
david
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 Nell at 16:57 on 27 July 2003
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Lisa, don't tell me you wrote this in the little time since our exchange about the West Pier? I knew straight away of course - oh and I think it should be 'coarse plastic nets', but brilliant nevertheless!
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Lisa at 21:28 on 27 July 2003
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Yes, Nell - it was one of those flash of inspiration things since chatting in the forum. Got to this second draft in an hour. That's why it may well evolve further.
I hadn't noticed the typo in "course" - if I only knew how I'd turn off the autocorrect on Word! But I can rectify what's here right now!
David - fellow Brighton historian. The phrase about "when she was young" refers to the townfolk scorn at her black petticoats. The line beginning "Waves" drags us back to the present.
Is that confusing for anyone else, coz I'll consider rewording it if it is?
Thanks all.
Lisa
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