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Pie
Posted: 13 September 2005
Word Count: 51
Summary: Where have all the poets gone? I had to post something!
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I roast red peppers
in your absence,
griddle mild goat’s cheese,
drizzle first cold pressing
virgin over roquette;
welcome you with
oily fish, five-a-day
organic vividness,
emblazoned colours
balanced to perfection;
desperate to fall
deep into the indulgence
which comes from pastry
rich in fats, laden with saturates,
dripping with decadence.
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Comments by other Members
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 Ticonderoga at 14:49 on 13 September 2005
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This is great fun. I have one suggestion: as the poem is really one continuous thought from start to finish - its end is in its beginning, so to speak - why not remove the capitals from the start of each verse and make the first two verses end with a semi-colon? Just a thought, but, for me, that would make it flow better and, somehow, make it even funnier. Lovely poem.
Best,
Mike
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 joanie at 15:14 on 13 September 2005
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Thanks Mike. Glad you said that; I was contemplating dropping the capitals, as verses 2 and 3 aren't complete sentences. I'll do that! Thank you.
joanie
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Tina at 18:36 on 13 September 2005
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LOVE the last verse - like an advert for gluttony!!!
More of that please !!!!
Great stuff
Tina
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 James Graham at 19:17 on 14 September 2005
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You find plenty of books of love poems, but is there an anthology of poems about food? There should be, and this poem should be in it. I like the way you make the healthy food, its Delia/Jamie-style preparation and the beautiful finished product, seem much more inviting than the pie. The language of the poem works very hard to convey this, until we're seduced by the 'organic vividness' of the fish dish. Then we come to the 'pastry/ rich in fats, laden with saturates' and there's more than a hint of yuck. The irony is that we know the poem's speaker yearns for a pie. The poem's language sort of contradicts the speaker's true feelings. That's a clever twist.
There's just enough in the poem for us to sense that she cooks this healthy meal to give the right message to the person she's about to share it with. But even if it's the 'right' message, is isn't an honest one! That's clever too, and subtle.
James.
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joanie at 08:11 on 15 September 2005
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Thank you for your thoughtful comments, James. I appreciate it, as always.
joanie
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 Elsie at 21:11 on 15 September 2005
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Hi Joanie, I took this to mean that the last stanza, is about wanting to be relaxed in a realtionship, comfortable, after all the 'best behavoiur' of a new date. Very nice. I think actually there is a compilation book out there about poetry and food, can't remember the title or editor though. (I'm useless tonight.) Oh, and take care of that glass of wine you mentioned - my laptop had to be packed off in it's little casket today, having met a sticky end last night. And it wasn't even me!
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joanie at 21:20 on 15 September 2005
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Thanks, Elsie!! You're right.... Doing the right thing officially while yearning for 'naughties' and just being yourself!
I'm laughing aloud at the wine episode....... I'll be careful.
Thanks for commentng.
joanie.
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engldolph at 17:25 on 18 September 2005
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Ah Joanie,
this poem really gets to the connection of love and relationships and food ..a deep a complex connection..
I love the contrast of socially bound rightness in the perfectly balanced organic meal with the desire for the lush decadence of full fat pastry...
full of hulour, but with the deeper touch..
The only thing in the last stanza that I thought of was that the words ..rich in fats, laden with saturates..felt a bit flat and technical..
I thought the core of this stanza was more..
desperate to fall
deep into the indulgence
from pastry fat with saturates,
dripping with decadence.
I know you lose a line..and no doubt you want 5 in each...but I think the last stanza deserves to do whatever it wants..
just a thought
enjoyed
Mike
<Added>
opps
what on earth is "hulour" ...humour might work better.
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joanie at 21:29 on 18 September 2005
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Hi, Mike. Thanks for your thoughts; I'll play around with it. I thought 'hulour' was an excellent word. I think it's worth including in your next poem!
I appreciate your resposne.
joanie
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