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by laurafraser 

Posted: 04 September 2005
Word Count: 48
Summary: I wanted to play around with the form a bit ut have forgotten how to make indents (would like the single 'heart' and the single 'where' to be in middle of their lines - if that makes sense) if anyone can remind me of how to do this I would be all smiles and gratitude, and if not la la la la and a he la, no worries will suffice as it is happy days x

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love makes her soft
fear makes her still,
below her neck,

beats her
galloping like unicorns,
wind chimes in a tempest
a naked body on the Arctic plain
& yet, there is a
hand holding hers,
pulling her somewhere,
pulling her somewhere,
love softens impossible hearts.

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Comments by other Members

Cornelia at 07:01 on 05 September 2005  Report this post
I am not too keen on love poems as a rule but I like this very much. At first the only line that jarred was a naked body on the Arctic plain, but I see how it fits in with the fear and the jangling wind-chimes. It is all very expressive.


PhillC at 14:29 on 05 September 2005  Report this post
I do really like this. Experimenting with the break after the first three lines does work well for me.

The imagery of someone totally alone and then finding a hand to lead them out of the wilderness is beautiful.

Only other comment is the spelling of "Artic." Should this be "Arctic"?

laurafraser at 19:56 on 05 September 2005  Report this post
oh no! Sheila how can you not like love poems??????

Shakespeare, yeats, wordsworth in fact e/body...

i think i am not so impressed with the poem i have posted it needs ork and yet i feel that that work must come slowly, to force change on the poem right now would be false as it would not be inspired

(does that make sense?)

but anyway thank-you for your commentss


i really apreciate your comments, but as said feel cxan do more justice to this than has already been done,

in order to be a better read and more fluid as a poem.

and thanks for spelling chck, was having a dsylexic moment...


seanfarragher at 22:13 on 18 September 2005  Report this post
I can feel your presence in the poem which makes the transformation of flesh to spirit perfectly in tune.
Lovely poem filled with the ache and the sorrow, the pleasure and the anticipation.


Cornelia at 22:53 on 18 September 2005  Report this post
Yes, I do like Shakespeare and John Donne and Elizabeth Browning, also Rupert Brooke. I suppose I mean I don't like modern love poetry. Maybe it's my age, though. I suppose what I mean is I don't like poems where women are passive and therefore potential victims.



Did Wordswoth write love poems? I know about Lucy Gray, the solitary child, and that wouldn't be very well received nowadays, but did he write any to real women?

lang-lad at 23:36 on 18 September 2005  Report this post
Hi laura F,
I got this advice from Miffle a while back re indents - but I ended up choosing not to use them in the poem in question so I haven't tried it. If it doesn't work maybe she could advise you.

"Re. indents I think the code is &nspb ? An 'and' sign before the four letters that you have used (?), though it's been a while since I have used them."

Wonderful poem BTW.

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