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A Fine and Private Place


Posted: 29 August 2005
Word Count: 52
Summary: Just a short one, as an exercise

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Black is the colour of headstones
Dark as the night in the day.
With a shiny polished surface
Striving so hard to say

In death what she wished she had said
While her lover was flesh and bone.
And her shiver’s as cold as granite
As she sees the reflection’s her own

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Comments by other Members

gard at 01:51 on 30 August 2005  Report this post
Hey LongJon

just read this. Will comment later. Like the imagery though


paul53 [for I am he] at 07:39 on 30 August 2005  Report this post
Despite being a short exercise, you managed to put a short story into 8 lines.

Brian Aird at 09:20 on 20 September 2005  Report this post
Something chilling about this piece. I read it a few times.

A personal thought caught in the reflection of a new head stone....

Very effective.


blp at 16:00 on 20 September 2005  Report this post
I know it's just an exercise, but I think the Marvell quote title is too much and doesn't have enough to do with what you wrote.

Clairebear at 06:58 on 18 October 2005  Report this post
This is very chilling and deep. I love it and I'm certain I won't be able to shake it from my mind all day, neither would I want to.

Epona Love at 16:50 on 23 October 2005  Report this post
Very, very effective. loved the image, very eiree. Amazing excercise... greatly inspired. perhaps agree about the title... maybe not enough in relation to the intensity of the poem.
wonderful piece.
Emma x.

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