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Fruition of fashion

by joanie 

Posted: 05 August 2005
Word Count: 73
Summary: A response to the exercise(s) in Poetry Seminar. Fix your teeth in before you try to read it aloud!


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I flounced off in a flurry of fur and feathers,
pink pumps prancing down laminated lanes,
classic cuts leaving me cold, calculated curves
falling over flesh-fuelled failures.

Too late, I learned that girlish pleasures canít compare
with charm and chic made perfect in the understated
fashion statement. I left a loser, alone
with my naÔve approximations. I learned my lesson,

and so I came home a woman, starving
in the affluence of style.






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Comments by other Members



Nell at 16:25 on 05 August 2005  Report this post
Joanie, I love your slightly anarchic interpretation of this - you've taken the line and claimed it for your own. Will return with more comments later.

Nell.

Nell at 17:39 on 05 August 2005  Report this post
Joanie,

You're right about ...flesh-fuelled failures... but the alliteration gives this a very playful feel. Loved ...the understated fashion statement... and wondered about ...laminated lanes... which seem to suggest that she was on some sort of catwalk. But I'm getting too caught up in details - blame Mac for that - the impression that remains is a playful one with a moment of thoughtfullness at the end. A good and creative response to the exercise.

Nell.

joanie at 19:14 on 05 August 2005  Report this post
Thanks, Nell! Yet another example of something I would never have written without Poetry Seminar. I'm not sure where it came from but it was fun.

joanie

gard at 20:28 on 12 August 2005  Report this post
Hi Joanie

I really like the direction of this piece in that it culminates at the end which is nice because it draw the reader towwards in and on (well me anyway).

Love the phrase
[q] flesh fulled failures[/q]

Not sure about
[q] laminated lanes [/q]

I thought maybe this particular alliteration diminished the message but thats just me..what do you think?

Nice one!

G


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