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Love or Tradition?

by Ambitions of Lisa 

Posted: 01 August 2005
Word Count: 160
Summary: Inspired by a great friend who is coping with family pressures regarding marriage, tradition and culture.

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I haven't met her yet
she is still a fantasy
appearing in my dreams
Iíve never seen her face

I love her already
but I donít know her
it is forever, her and I
I have yet to discover her name

She hasnít entered my life
yet she is out there
somewhere, my destiny
I will not settle for another

How can I explain
to those who gave me life
surely they understand
I need love, true love

They want me to be happy
yet they pressure me
to abide by tradition
and culture

I do not wish for conflict
I feel I need time
space to find my own way
to fall in love as fate wishes

How would another feel
if I gave myself to her
against my true wishes
sad she was not my soulmate?

Why the urgency to commit?
I do not understand
surely to have the choice is best
than to throw away my love

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Comments by other Members

Zettel at 11:12 on 02 August 2005  Report this post

I thought I had a fix on this for the first 5 stanzas then wondered if I was wrong in the last 3 equally strong verses. My interpretation was of someone adopted out of their culture longing to find her birth mother and come to terms with all that implies.

The last 3 verses don't disavow this but e.g. 'commit' suggests a slightly different context.

Strong and evocative.


joanie at 11:22 on 02 August 2005  Report this post
Hi Lisa. Love or Tradition? Big question; how can we begin to understand if we haven't experienced it? This must be so difficult. I like the second stanza particularly, which shows the turmoil but yet the acceptance that this way of marrying is right.

Then the change - the true feelings coming out? I like the prgression of thought.

This is well expressed; nice one.


Ticonderoga at 15:24 on 02 August 2005  Report this post
Knotty stuff, delicately explored with an open mind and a generous heart.



engldolph at 20:01 on 04 August 2005  Report this post

I think you've chosen an intriguing and important topic..really worth getting deep into this..

For me, the first two stanzas are very good..simple, honest, captures that dreaming desire for "the one" we have not yet met..

after that, I think you have identified the issues very well..

- how to explain?
- They want me to be happy, YET
- I do not wish for conflict
- How would another feel

but I wanted to find something more than these questions - that are perhaps a bit predictable and already commonly understood..

I think you can go deeper...reveal more ..make the reader feel something they had not thought about before..

A very good base to go further I think.


Plagious at 17:49 on 26 September 2005  Report this post

Agree with the other comments, but particularly
the last stanza strikes a chord;

"Why the urgency to commit?
I do not understand
surely to have the choice is best
than to throw away my love"

Seems to sum up all the doubts. I am sure many
marry for acceptance and social gain, but at
least they have had the opportunity to see if
there is any chemistry with the intended. The
family and peer pressure that says, "you will
get along", rather than a natural dating /
courtship to find love, must be very difficult.
Tough for your friend.


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