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by hailfabio 

Posted: 30 July 2005
Word Count: 57
Summary: I go through my life pretty jealous and bitter about most things. Knowing I have to rely on people to live, wishing I could just do certain things, and wondering how that would effect my mentality. Thing is my jealousy is general not personal, guess that's what I'm trying to get over here.

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Don't worry.

My jealousy won't stop me liking you.
It won't stop me thinking of you.
It won't stop me talking to you.
It won't stop me caring about you.
It won't stop me looking at you.
It won't stop me admiring you.
It won't stop me loving you.
It won't stop me wanting you.

I worry.

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Comments by other Members

Account Closed at 08:45 on 03 August 2005  Report this post
Loved the build-up in this one - very powerful indeed. I would take out that last line though and end it just with "I will worry." in the position you have it. Let the reader complete the thought - the poem is far too strong for an explanation to be offered!




Beanie Baby at 09:06 on 03 August 2005  Report this post
I agree with Hollyb, finishing on 'I will worry' concludes it much more strongly but apart from that I loved it. It is very deep and thought provoking.

lieslj at 20:14 on 04 August 2005  Report this post
Heartfelt, powerful and honest. Bravo, Stephen, all kudos to you for putting it like it is.

hailfabio at 14:27 on 05 August 2005  Report this post
Thanks for all comments.

I think you're right the last line is too much.


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