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Dust

by Jabulani 

Posted: 21 July 2003
Word Count: 314
Summary: Exercise 4.


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That evening as Tanner sat out on his verandah a wind blew in from the vlei. Tanner drank it in. He could taste and smell the earth that for fifty years now had nurtured and defied him. The hot air spoke with stories of grass on fire, of a burning sky and of the giant moon that rose to drench the heat of the day. And memories encircled him. Good memories. He remembered Carina, running up the track barefoot. She had been digging up new worlds of her own and satisfied was now returning her skin and hair thick with the red earth. He could still smell her hair baked bare in that unforgiving sun.
A shaft of this light could reveal the unseen substance of the air. What seemed empty and still was a heavy motioning sea. Living here, the dust had become a part of them all. They breathed it, ate it and the children grew strong with this earth deep in their blood and bones.
A distant bark in the village, Tanner looked up. The darkness now was absolute and told a story of its own. Constellations hung connected in an immeasurable dome, the depths of infinity marked out by miniscule forgotten suns. Tanner was struck by his own insignificance.
For a while, there was something here that had felt real, worth fighting for. But like Campbell’s place down in the valley all in time would be returned to dust. The ants will eat away at the fabric of what once stood here and with no one to sweep away the daily film from the floors all would soon crumble and be taken back into the earth from which it rose.
And of us. We were once a people. An identity. Now all who had once stood close and strong were scattered and displaced, like Saharan sands on a distant wind.






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Comments by other Members



LONGJON at 05:57 on 22 July 2003  Report this post
Hey Laura,

Don't we all write best about that which is closest to us. So where do you think you are going with this, 'cause it sure can't stop here. Get the old Olivetti out, park a tent out on the veldt (or the Downs, whichever is closest) get the old man to put the bratwurst on the bbq, get typing!

After all, someone has to retire Wilbur Smith.

(No, don't just sit there thinking about it.....)

John P. (read Mickey to the kids yet?)

Jabulani at 09:53 on 22 July 2003  Report this post
Ok, so now you are scaring me John....I hadn't really got so far as thinking I would commit my life to writing...but it is true there is a story inside of me that needs telling. I linked this exercise ( in which I struggled to find a common thread) to my opener in the fictional section 'the end of everything' - it jumps into the future when the character William Tanner is reflecting back on a life in Rhodesia / Zimbabwe. It's not a biography but encapsulates the stories of my parents, their friends and of my own story. I feel I need to record something before all we were is lost to the facts and figures of history.

I'll let you know how Mickey goes down with the boys. They are 6years, 3 years and also (a little too young to appreciate the finer arts) 18 months.

Laura.

Anna Reynolds at 16:30 on 24 July 2003  Report this post
Laura, this is an immensely intriguing piece. I like the way you've retained some of the elements of the other pieces but this feels much more like a definite story that has a purpose and drive that's bigger than this exercise. (As you say yourself in the previous comment.) It feels like assured and confident writing and brings us straight into the middle of a man's life and story- I'd love to think you do develop this. The sense of insignificance, displacement, dust to dust... all this is well evoked and made me think of (and want to re-read!) Karen Blizen's Out of Africa and some of Doris Lessing's earlier works. Which is a big compliment.

Jabulani at 14:31 on 25 July 2003  Report this post
Thank you Anna.
What I found interesting about this exercise is how it has helped the story to emerge although I have approached it from an obscure angle, with the link around dust. I find the prospect of sitting down to write a story very daunting whereas this approach worked much more easily and comfortably.
Laura.



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