|
|
 |
Piece Of Mind
Posted: 15 July 2005
Word Count: 52
|
Font Size
|
|
Piece Of Mind
Winter seeps
into the
heart
The heart
beckons
Spring
Spring blossom
dies to
earth
The earth
embraces
life
Life roots
in the
sun
The sun
rains Summer
light
Light and rain
vein
leaves
The leaves
Autumn
earth
Earth sleeps
into
Winter
Winter seeps
into
the heart
The heart
remembers
|
Comments by other Members
| |
|
|
 joanie at 20:51 on 15 July 2005
 Report this post
|
Mmmm...., Zettel, beautiful. The form is lovely, with the repeated idea in each stanza. It warrants several reads!
joanie
| |
.JPG) Zettel at 10:31 on 16 July 2005
Report this post
|
Thanks Joannie and Ti
felt the need for a little simplicity in a very complicated week.
Regards
Z
| |
 James Graham at 11:09 on 16 July 2005
Report this post
|
Having just read your article in the Journalism Group, it seems to me this poem - in a different way from the last one you posted - is all of a piece with it. But this does what a poem can do but an article not so well - abstract the emotions and express them in a universal vocabulary, such as the vocabulary of the seasons. By forming a kind of linked chain of images that move through the cycle of seasons, the poem conveys a sense of the harmony of things. At least, if instead of looking at the world situation we look in another direction for a moment, we can feel that harmony is possible.
James.
|
|
| |
Zettel at 23:49 on 16 July 2005
Report this post
|
Yes indeed James. You have an unerring eye for cnonections. Logic, reason and sanity only get you so far.. I don't know whether you like movies - if you do I would highly recommend Jean-Luc Godard's latest 'Notre Musique' of which I have posted a review. I believe the central theme of NM is the the relationship between the scientific truth of empirical fact and perception; and the artistic truth of the spirit and imagination. His view seems to be that in intractable conflicts - in the case of NM, the Palestine/Israeli conflict, only an element of artistic imagination and human empathy can break a deadlock.
Thanks far the as ever, perceptive comment.
Regards
Z
| |
 engldolph at 17:45 on 17 July 2005
Report this post
|
HI Z -
Yes, I liked the effortless flow and the way you capture the cycle of life/feelings/the heart ... effectively constructed with the last word repeated in the next stanza without feeling too laboured..
I might think of knocking off the last two lines... for me it stopped its continuance as a cycle..that is, the last line linking back to the first line of the poem..
perhaps use The heart remembers as the title ...piece of mind doesn't really add much for me..
enjoyed
Mike
| |
Zettel at 00:13 on 18 July 2005
Report this post
|
Thanks Mike.
It seemed such a scrap of thought that the pun of the title sort of seemed appropriate to me.
The last two lines are intended to express the idea that what gives a sense of continuity and repetition of the seasonal cycle of life is its recognition and remembrance by the human mind and heart. This for me, is why we feel comforted and anticipatory about the Spring to come and accepting of the inevitable return to Winter.
That's a lot of philosophy to hang on 3 words but for the intention of the poem they need to be there. Though I accept of course that they might not work.
Thanks for the comments. It is important to find out how things strike others, especially those who writegood stuff themselves.
Regards
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Comments by other Members
