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Cover to my book

by RachelSparrow 

Posted: 02 July 2005
Word Count: 73
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Cover to My Book

The boring story of a lonely girl,
Judged on her black exterior,
Look inside, read what you find,
I'll show you, you're inferior,

Hypocritical proverbs,
The maker breaks his word,
The next time that he sees me,
Who's that ugly goth bird?

Could you make a book to judge?
Could you write your own life?
Do you follow what they say?
Or do you make up your own mind?








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Comments by other Members



paul53 [for I am he] at 15:31 on 02 July 2005  Report this post
Rachel,
Welcome to full membership.
You would do better - and court more comments - with 9 uploads of one poem each time, rather than one upload of nine poems.
Similarly, the word count of 792 is enough for many on WW site to pass by for a later date when they perhaps have more spare time.
Join a group; submit one piece at a time. Don't apologise in advance for them being depressive either - a reader might be depressed and find the fellow-feeling in them uplifting.
Pick your best of the nine, Owner Edit the rest out and resubmit.
Paul
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Epona Love at 16:39 on 23 October 2005  Report this post
Definately seems that you know your own mind! I liked the style of this... feel that the second verse could have been a little clearer, or perhaps expanded on. enjoyed it, reminds me a little of myself at your age. I have a feeling that you will amaze us as you progress. Go from strength to strength as they say.

Emma x
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


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