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Letting Go

by Jabulani 

Posted: 10 March 2003
Word Count: 209
Summary: I have chosen this as my first piece of work to go public with. Written a few years ago I realise it unfashionably is in rhyme but I hope the rhythm adds some atmosphere rather than merely distracts. It is the tension and stictness of a tightrope versus the swing and flight of the trapeze. Symbols of a personal approach to life.


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One step forward,
One step forward,
On the steel strung line.
The tight rope walker
Thinks he ought not
Sway to either side.

Tunnel vision,
Foot precision,
Secures him on the rail.
No talking, laughing,
Leaping, gasping,
No single chance to fail.

Ambition burning,
Brimming bursting,
He reigns his feelings in.
The high trapeze,
The freedom, ease
Is not a place for him.

An inner chord,
A secret word
Sings out; a silent siren.
He claps his ears
As his spirit hears
The voice of those long fallen.

Unforgiving,
Unforgetting,
No net to break the fall.
One line, one man,
One life, one plan,
Prisoner in world of walls.

Look, look ahead!
Beware the Dead!
Study of concentration.
Lifeís what you make?
Fate lies in wait;
Threatens movement, motion.

Itís trust that binds Them
to each other
No need for steel ropes.
Her with loving
Arms outstretched,
Him with songs of hope.

They draw so close
and then they part,
Lifeís tide both rips and
soothes.
His hold canít catch
The spell of fear
Until her grip slips loose.

Climactic gulf.
Out of time,
Charged potential rising.
Time slides and slows
Itís then she knows
The moment must not widen.

Letting go.
Letting out.
Her hands hold on no longer.
Safety binds.
It deadens minds
Broken bonds are stronger.

Creative flight,
she casts herself
Unknown, uncertain future.
Eager heart
Extends, explores ....
Love reaches out to meet her.








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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 20:05 on 11 March 2003  Report this post
Jabulani - Thanks for your poem. I'll get back to you sometime this week.

James.

James Graham at 20:11 on 14 March 2003  Report this post
Hi Jabulani - I've said in my little 'mission statement' on the site that if you can rhyme I'll be full of admiration. Well, maybe not in every verse, but mostly you use rhyme and rhythm well. This is a very appropriate way of matching subject with technique - appropriate to convey the tightrope/trapeze in rhyme and swaying - but changing - rhythm.

I'm not sure of the sense of some lines. 'The freedom, ease/is not a place for him'; 'Fate lies in wait; Threatens movement, motion'. Also the word 'rips' doesn't seem right, in the context of the trapeze image - pains/wounds and soothes? Maybe I miss the point. At least two stanzas, though, strike me as really good, very effective: the fourth ('An inner chord...') and the second last ('Letting go...') and the whole poem contains an interesting idea that maybe needs a little attention - and shortening?

Good wishes

James.

olebut at 21:07 on 20 June 2003  Report this post
Jabulani

I have only just come across your poem much to my shame my initial reaction having read the first three verses was that it is a poem about life.

having read further I thought perhaps it was a little lengthy which detracted from its other qualities. I then looked and wondered how I would shorten it and saw more meaning in each verse as I re read it.

I agree with James it is a great idea

thank you for sharing it

David

PantsonFire at 20:39 on 31 May 2006  Report this post
this is really good


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