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Brave
Posted: 28 June 2005
Word Count: 48
Summary: Are disabled people brave or lazy? Trying to do anything independent or normal results in the cliche 'arent they brave' comments. Doing nothing and being dependant gets the 'lazy' label. My advice is be 'brave' but ingore the plaudits until they are justified and genuine.
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Venture out of the cave.
To be told I'm brave.
It's not the way I behave.
Endeavour to do mundane tasks.
Feel that I have to ask.
There's a person under this mask.
Travelling over nervous ground.
Loud eyes don't make a sound.
Whatever I do is profound.
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Comments by other Members
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 Account Closed at 10:25 on 01 July 2005
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I think this is very powerful indeed. A strong use of rhyme drives the images home and the rhythm also is very good. It certainly grabbed me and took me to a space I hadn't been in before.
I found the "single" lines (ie the fact that each line has a full-stop at the end and cuts you off from any sense of flow) very disturbing, but I think that's what they should be.
Great stuff indeed.
LoL
A
xxx
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 joanie at 12:58 on 02 July 2005
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Stephen, this is powerful and moving. I like the rhyme, which reinforces the sentiments, I think. I agree with Anne, that the short, sharp effect of the lines is good.
I wonder whether you could lose 'It's' from the third line.
Venture out of the cave.
To be told I'm brave.
Not the way I behave. |
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This poem has a lasting effect.
joanie
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Barlow at 17:54 on 05 July 2005
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Stephen,
I agree with the comments already posted that these lines are powerful and made more so by the full stops at the end of each one. How sad though that people have to categorise others, particularly when there is some obvious disability. What right has anyone to assess another human being and to come up with such unhelpful labels?
You write with your own voice and the way in which you use words to express yourself shows your innate poetic talent and that is what matters when discussing poetry.
Keep writing this high impact stuff.
Best wishes,
Barlow
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Beanie Baby at 12:49 on 14 July 2005
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Hello Stephen.
I like this very much. "Loud eyes don't make a sound" - love this line. I think the short sharp sentances really give this poem the dimension it deserves. A pleasure to read.
Beanie
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hailfabio at 13:12 on 14 July 2005
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Thanks beanie,
I like that line too, it's about that eyes can say more than any form of communication.
Stephen
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