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Recorder - (L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=R=Y)
Posted: 21 June 2005
Word Count: 113
Summary: An attempt at L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=R=Y, being studied in Poetry Seminar. I have done exactly as suggested and produced something totally meaningless, I hope! ....or did I??
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A stainless harvest in the air
by a sea of lightly gloomy pantomime.
Wartime problems expect to sprout
practical gossip. Tomorrow confusion
will fanfare a path. Astonishment
may work in pairs but I'd like to talk
of facts about food and drink in France.
Batter recovery to tiptoe down at the plain
while progress smiled at her. Gold wedding band
comic in the practical sun, genuine in thistle.
Archaeology played games with oil warmth; money
ate germs on death's behalf. Owl moon smiled at her,
supple fingers a moth mould bullfight. Solutions
exist to book pitchfork toffee down at the plain.
They spoke intermittently,
reading about
data.
Junk chimes actress;
Do you want?
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Comments by other Members
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 Nell at 08:27 on 22 June 2005
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Hi Joanie,
It's really strange, but the more I read aloud the more sense this seems to make. As Paul said, the brain is constantly seeking sense and connections. I love the path/France slant rhyme that rounds off the first stanza and pulls me to the next with eager anticipation. Some amazing lines in that second stanza - could you ever have imagined ...money/ate germs on death's behalf...? Love ...Owl moon smiled at her... and ...a sea of lightly gloomy pantomime... from the first stanza - they deserve poems all of their own.
They spoke intermittently,/reading about/data... almost seems to pull everything together - as if these learned people know exactly what the poem is about, and for that reason I'd be happy if it ended there, and yet that final couplet has the effect of a poke that says 'Hey you, this is LP - it's never that easy!'
A great response to the exercise.
Nell.
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 joanie at 08:47 on 22 June 2005
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Thanks, Nell. As I posted this, I thought, "I can't believe that I have just written that!" A very short time ago I wouldn't have understood anything about it, but now I'm fascinated! It's very liberating, actually, I think. Good exercise again!
joanie
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 paul53 [for I am he] at 22:51 on 22 June 2005
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Perhaps this exercise is inventing a new form of music. "Astonishment may work in pairs" is definitely doing something inside my head, as is "money ate germs on death's behalf".
Love "owl moon", and where can I get a toffee pitchfork?
Did anyone else see echoes of the Second World War in the first stanza? Or is that the old brain making connections that aren't there yet again?
Paul
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joanie at 23:20 on 22 June 2005
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Hi Paul. '..a new form of music' is absolutely right! Yes, I was thinking Second World War when the 'poem' was writing itself.
'Archaeology played games with oil warmth' speaks to me. I feel like I can comment as if the words aren't my own - bizarre!
Very interesting exercise!
Thanks for reading.
joanie
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Mac AM at 21:27 on 23 June 2005
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I really enjoyed this and just like Nell started to see sense in nonsense, as though subconscious thought in poet and reader had taken over and found what had been said. Sounds rubbish now I've typed it, but I hope you know that I mean!
I really enjoyed turning back on myself and re-reading, how ready I was to accept what was said and to make a sense of it all.
Things I especially liked:
A stainless harvest in the air
expect to sprout practical gossip.
Astonishment may work in pairs but I'd like to talk
of facts about food and drink in France.
Gold wedding band comic in the practical sun, genuine in thistle.
They spoke intermittently,
reading about
data.
Junk chimes actress;
Do you want?
What a great exercise and an even better result.
Mac
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joanie at 08:02 on 24 June 2005
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Thanks, Mac. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it was a good exercise!
joanie
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