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Dream

by payalagg2410@yahoo.com 

Posted: 21 June 2005
Word Count: 56


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I walk the forest
along beaten path
As the bushes hung
too high to crown me
the scratches are nothing
but a tattoo in the skin.

Without fear of drowning
I jump the ditches which
are too wide.
Among the roots
Iclimb the tallest tree,
all in my dream
for i had no fear of falling.






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Comments by other Members



Myrtle at 16:49 on 30 June 2005  Report this post
A simple and wistful piece with undertones of overcoming life's obstacles. Effective and enjoyable.

Myrtle

Neezes at 23:35 on 31 October 2010  Report this post
I like the general feel of this poem and you get in some nice images - sort of like haiku, nice direct and vivid images. The symbolism works well too.

However I think you could do with redrafting it slightly, perhaps reconsider the bit about the 'tattoo in the skin' which doesn't quite work for me, and the last two lines, which are ok but could be punchier. Overall a very good poem

Jonathan


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