Dancer by Ambitions of Lisa - WriteWords.org.uk

WriteWords

Dancer

by Ambitions of Lisa

Posted: 07 June 2005
Word Count: 81
Summary: The way I feel before a performance... not too sure about the vagueness of it. Please comment.

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Electrifying buzz
All around
My heartbeat quick
Adrenalin pumps
I breathe fast
I tremble as I wait
In the wings
Behind the red velvet
Seperating me
From hundreds
Of expectant faces
Waiting to be entertained

I glow as I step
Into the spotlight
I hear their applause
Whistles and cheers
As the first beat
Fills the auditorium
Vibrating my stage
I feel the rhythm
The music in my heart
Passion drives me
To a better performance
I dance from my soul

Favourite this work

Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Mr B. at 11:49 on 09 June 2005 Report this post

It was a piece I could relate to. The short lines worked well in the first stanza, creating a sense of nervous energy. I would have liked the pace to quicken in the second creating a 'whoosh' effect - like the point where you reach the top of a roller coaster - and you're on!

Just a personal observation in a piece that conveyed the range of emotions waiting produces.

Nice one,

Anthony

Like (0) Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

engldolph at 11:15 on 12 June 2005 Report this post

HI Lisa,

The directness and honest feeling come through well for me in the simple uncomplicated lanague and the short fast moving lines.

I thought the really exceptional lines, in that they gave me (ther reader) an new insight were:

* Behind the red velvet
Seperating me
From hundreds

* I glow as I step

* Vibrating my stage

* The music in my heart
Passion drives me

Some other lines were not as strong to me, perhaps in that they tell us things that we already know - did not revel new insights (which is often the power of a poem)..

but a lot of good energy and description here to work with I think...

enjoyed
Mike

Like (0) Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Ambitions of Lisa at 09:02 on 16 June 2005 Report this post

Thanks Anthony, Liesl and Mike

I really wasn't confident about posting this poem but after reading your comments I see that it is something I can work with.

:)

Lis

Like (0) Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

hailfabio at 13:33 on 16 June 2005 Report this post

Where's my private performance?

:( lol

Nice poem Lis, slighty too long I feel

Stephen

<Added>

Compact would be better ;)

Like (0) Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

Other work by Ambitions of Lisa:

...view all work by Ambitions of Lisa