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by Ambitions of Lisa 

Posted: 07 June 2005
Word Count: 81
Summary: The way I feel before a performance... not too sure about the vagueness of it. Please comment.

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Electrifying buzz
All around
My heartbeat quick
Adrenalin pumps
I breathe fast
I tremble as I wait
In the wings
Behind the red velvet
Seperating me
From hundreds
Of expectant faces
Waiting to be entertained

I glow as I step
Into the spotlight
I hear their applause
Whistles and cheers
As the first beat
Fills the auditorium
Vibrating my stage
I feel the rhythm
The music in my heart
Passion drives me
To a better performance
I dance from my soul

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Comments by other Members

Mr B. at 11:49 on 09 June 2005  Report this post
It was a piece I could relate to. The short lines worked well in the first stanza, creating a sense of nervous energy. I would have liked the pace to quicken in the second creating a 'whoosh' effect - like the point where you reach the top of a roller coaster - and you're on!

Just a personal observation in a piece that conveyed the range of emotions waiting produces.

Nice one,


engldolph at 11:15 on 12 June 2005  Report this post
HI Lisa,

The directness and honest feeling come through well for me in the simple uncomplicated lanague and the short fast moving lines.

I thought the really exceptional lines, in that they gave me (ther reader) an new insight were:

* Behind the red velvet
Seperating me
From hundreds

* I glow as I step

* Vibrating my stage

* The music in my heart
Passion drives me

Some other lines were not as strong to me, perhaps in that they tell us things that we already know - did not revel new insights (which is often the power of a poem)..

but a lot of good energy and description here to work with I think...


Ambitions of Lisa at 09:02 on 16 June 2005  Report this post
Thanks Anthony, Liesl and Mike

I really wasn't confident about posting this poem but after reading your comments I see that it is something I can work with.



hailfabio at 13:33 on 16 June 2005  Report this post
Where's my private performance?

:( lol

Nice poem Lis, slighty too long I feel



Compact would be better ;)

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