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dreamlike
Posted: 16 July 2003
Word Count: 99
Summary: part three writing exercise..
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cool and shady with dappled light filtering through greenery.My bed gently swinging between trees , caressing and keeping me safe as I allow my mind to wander untrammelled. With half closed eyes or tightly shut..I dream of spicy colours or tranquil seas of half remembered places in my memory. Losing myself in the lulling rythmn with natures sounds to soothe the soul I think of lovers past or those to be and turn my head to see your face as we gently swing in the heat. A source of comfort here on earth as we soar in separate dreams.
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Comments by other Members
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 Jabulani at 11:19 on 16 July 2003
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This really evokes the feeling of summer; the colours, the sleepy heat.....just the right mood with the sultry heat we have today.
I think you've done what I did before though and posted it without marking it for the Beginner's Section.
Laura.
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LONGJON at 02:25 on 17 July 2003
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Hello Ellena,
A lovely piece, while I was reading it, the end of Bernstein's West Side Story Overture was playing on the Concert Programme here in Auckland. The music finishes with a quiet, almost plaintive quality to it and couldn't have fitted your piece better. Well written.
Hope you had a good holiday.
Take care
John P.
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Ellenna at 09:03 on 17 July 2003
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Hello Jon..
thank you for your very kind comment.. sometimes a piece of music or reading comes at an optimum time when it gells.. glad it did for you!
Ellie
P.s. my 19 year old son has just landed in Auckland! for 3 weeks.
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LONGJON at 09:29 on 17 July 2003
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Hello Ellena,
Thanks for your post; may I suggest that if your young son would like to get in touch, he would be most welcome to come by and have a bite to eat with my wife and myself. We live in a suburb called Blockhouse Bay which is about 20 to 25 minutes from the city centre. I have a 26 year old son who has just bought himself a new (to him) Ford Telstar and he likes nothing more than taking his cars out for a drive, so might be persuaded to give your young chap a bit of a tour! If you can contact him, tell him to phone us (Lorraine and John) on 626.4713. If we are not in, tell him to leave a message and we will get back to him.Regret that the weather here hasn't been that great lately.
Take care, keep writing.
John P.
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Ellenna at 09:39 on 17 July 2003
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I will email you.. thank you for most generous offer. wont take up space here !!
Ellie
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 Anna Reynolds at 15:54 on 17 July 2003
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Ellie
Really nice feel to this- the sense of colour and light and heat are all really well evoked.
I wondered about 'caressing me gently' and what that was- wind, heat, thoughts, a person? also, although I like the contrast between thinking of lovers past and present and looking at the face next to you, I wondered if this could maybe be developed a little so that we have a sense of whether this indicates an ambivalence in the narrator's mind- is she/he not sure that the present lover is going to last, is the face next to hers real or from dreams/memory.... doesn't necessarily need to be answered here or rewritten, just an interesting section for future work perhaps? Lovely evocation of a lazy, half-dream like state.
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Ellenna at 16:54 on 17 July 2003
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Anna thank you and I am glad the mood of the piece was picked up... and also the ambiguity...
I will try and clarify the "caressing".....its actually the bed or hammock.. will have a go. I think its just a question of punctuation probably.
thanks again .. invaluable!
Ellie
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Ellenna at 17:02 on 17 July 2003
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Anna , amended but its lost something i feel?seems more stilted? is it me?
Ellie
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