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The Fireman finds the poet

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 05 June 2005
Word Count: 96
Summary: The fireworks....
Related Works: I See No Me • 

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The Fireman finds the poet

I lifted him from the ashes
letters fell from his mouth
poached eyes glazed by fire
cinder curls falling to earth,

the dagger of a pen encased
in his tightly written fingers
pockets stuffed with papyrus
soaked in the fuel of dreams,

I sifted through his effects
springs from Greek machines
ends jammed into beginnings
elliptic pullies on plain strings,

inside the lining of his breast
I found a flower & a wolf's claw
under his nails I found gold dust
& in his mouth a tongue of smoke.


John G.Hall(C)2005






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 09:14 on 10 June 2005  Report this post
Wonderfully symbolic and very powerful indeed. I think it might need tighter grammar though, eg more commas in appropriate places etc? - especially as it's so literary.

How about -

I lifted him from the ashes;
letters fell from his mouth,
poached eyes glazed by fire,
cinder curls falling to earth,

the dagger of a pen encased
in his tightly written fingers,
pockets stuffed with papyrus
soaked in the fuel of dreams.

I sifted through his effects,
springs from Greek machines,
ends jammed into beginnings,
elliptic pullies on plain strings.

Inside the lining of his breast
I found a flower and a wolf's claw.
Under his nails I found gold dust
and in his mouth a tongue of smoke.

I just think that might make it tighter (and I've got rid of the "&"s too, but I'm a bit obsessive about that, sorry ...)

A great poem indeed!

:))

LoL

A
xxx



Mr B. at 12:37 on 10 June 2005  Report this post
talk about suffering for your art! I liked the piece - it conveyed a sense of the creative process.

Nice one,

Anthony


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