Janus
by 
Milou
|
Posted: Saturday, May 14, 2005 Word Count: 384 |
Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.
A house is only as secure as its door. Walking through a door is passing from security to fucking chaos. Critical. So doors have a god.
Janus.
Janus is two faced. Janus Patulcius opens the door. Janus Clusivius closes it. The good or evil that results depends on the favour of Janus.
Other gods serve Janus. Limentinus rules the threshold, Cardea the hinges and Forculus the leaf of the door.
It's no big deal to pray to the door gods. Touch the jamb as you leave, brush a finger quickly over the peeling paint, and pray.
Sometimes when I'm praying the chaos floods through the door and into my head. Then the prayer is no good. Go back and start fresh. Empty, wipe clean, start again. The chaos washes back and. Fuck. Back and start again. Empty, wipe clean, use the sky through the window like a cloth. Brush the paint, touch the jamb, pray. Step through the door. Fuck.
It can take a while. Doors stretch away in awful multiplicity like a hall of mirrors. They lead from and to, they are crossings and re-crossings. A house is only as secure as its door, but then there's the door to the shop where I buy my morning paper, the door to the train, the door to the office. Doors unfold like a concertina down the tunnel home. Pray and they may open to a good future. Let the chaos contaminate the prayer and Janus is deaf. Touch and pray. Think. Fuck. Go back and pray again. People stare at me in the street, stuck there like a scratched record trying to get through a door.
The hall of mirrors gets larger the closer you look. Janus is a tricky god and spreads his in-and-out influence wide. He is the god of demarcations and boundaries who keeps here from being there. He glues the world together like a broken vase. Between each door are more crossings, lines and fractures. The stair, the curb, the crack in the paving stone. Clear your mind, pray, think. Fuck. Step back. Step again.
The office is not a place I go now. Too many doors, and the stares you get fill your head with chaos. A house is only as secure as its door. Janus keeps mine closed.
Janus.
Janus is two faced. Janus Patulcius opens the door. Janus Clusivius closes it. The good or evil that results depends on the favour of Janus.
Other gods serve Janus. Limentinus rules the threshold, Cardea the hinges and Forculus the leaf of the door.
It's no big deal to pray to the door gods. Touch the jamb as you leave, brush a finger quickly over the peeling paint, and pray.
Sometimes when I'm praying the chaos floods through the door and into my head. Then the prayer is no good. Go back and start fresh. Empty, wipe clean, start again. The chaos washes back and. Fuck. Back and start again. Empty, wipe clean, use the sky through the window like a cloth. Brush the paint, touch the jamb, pray. Step through the door. Fuck.
It can take a while. Doors stretch away in awful multiplicity like a hall of mirrors. They lead from and to, they are crossings and re-crossings. A house is only as secure as its door, but then there's the door to the shop where I buy my morning paper, the door to the train, the door to the office. Doors unfold like a concertina down the tunnel home. Pray and they may open to a good future. Let the chaos contaminate the prayer and Janus is deaf. Touch and pray. Think. Fuck. Go back and pray again. People stare at me in the street, stuck there like a scratched record trying to get through a door.
The hall of mirrors gets larger the closer you look. Janus is a tricky god and spreads his in-and-out influence wide. He is the god of demarcations and boundaries who keeps here from being there. He glues the world together like a broken vase. Between each door are more crossings, lines and fractures. The stair, the curb, the crack in the paving stone. Clear your mind, pray, think. Fuck. Step back. Step again.
The office is not a place I go now. Too many doors, and the stares you get fill your head with chaos. A house is only as secure as its door. Janus keeps mine closed.