It starts when you howl in the pram, and even though you’re way too young to have heard of the Wolf fable you still get ignored.

Then on to PE at school where you’re even then reluctantly always picked last for any team.

False love letters will arrive with Hydra sniggers from blossoming pubescent cruel girls in Geography, mesmerised you smile… as they brutally spit their cackle.

You are bullied and you are bullied and you are bullied and…then worst of all when they become bored, you are now left all alone to be forgotten once and for all.

Your father calls you stupid, stupid, stupid while he throws a football straight at your head.

Up to now you’ve had no choice, and the skill of choosing another option has evaded you. So you freeze, close in and let the building of cold stonewalls begin.

All your choices made of course are negative because you believe all that was previously said.

You are without doubt worthless, unattractive, stupid, a loser. A walking casket now empty and devoid of the feelings of joy.

Indeed you are a perfect candidate to acquire and learn the art of not being desired.

However…

Now if you choose to continue to master this art, you do so with the undertaking that it is now your full responsibility.

Apathy: You must convince yourself that you are indifferent to everything that would normally matter to somebody else. Appearance, aspiration, family and the dignity of others are included in this.

Cynicism: Trust, romance, the joy of new babies and amazement at soft red sunsets will not be tolerated here…they will not be needed, in fact all of these and more will be treated with derision.

Fear: Breathing, open spaces, living, warmth and the sharing of intimacy are amongst many in this category.

Intolerance: You will be insular, isolated, in an arctic sea you are a rocky island with no landing point. You will not tolerate and will baulk to any intrusion. A stubborn awkwardness to even the simplest request will always prevail.

Arrogance: On the surface you will present sweetness and consideration, but beneath this first veneer lays a sneering bitter contempt for all that you consider below you. You will blame all for your teenage rejection and in the same breath thank them, for it has made you a better person than they who scorned you.

These will help you build a philosophy, one that you will be convinced you really believe and one you will steadfastly, obstinately maintain.

Look in and never out, shun and stay on the fringe. If someone comes too close deflect him or her with cold eccentricity.

And finally… and here you have to listen very carefully for it can only be one voice, because if you do and you cannot pretend otherwise, you cannot,CANNOT hear yourself screaming.And if this is so then hey... Way to go, for you have just mastered a truly useless, worthless and pitiful art.

No plaudits, no acclaim, no this art will not achieve you reverence or fame.

For this is the art of not being desired.