Gilbert Donaldson had been plagued by his toes all his life. Not the toes themselves as such, but the pain they were capable of receiving.

It dated back to an incident in his childhood when he’d stubbed his big toe on the dining table. His blood turned white with pain, he felt himself float above the room as the agony spread through his foot and flooded his very being. The phobia wasn’t helped when he read about a dreadful incident in the country involving a farmer and a lawnmower and a great deal of blood. He took to wearing three pairs of socks, hand knitted slippers and leather boots on top of it all. Needless to say walking about was very awkward and even he had to admit, that the pressure this extra protection placed on his toes caused them some discomfort as well. Once whilst undressing for the bath he dropped a bottle of bubble bath directly onto his foot – he yowled with pain and almost exploded with rage when he dipped his damaged toe into the water for relief only to scold it in the process. He could guarantee that it would be his toes stepped on accidentally in the crowded bus, his toes suffering from chilblains in the winter and ingrown nails all year round, his toes that would seek out and find the lost drawing pin only for it to pierce his yellowed skin and stick fast in the flesh. His toes that would become infected by the unseen yet often felt splinter wedged between the nail and the baby soft flesh underneath. He could no longer put up with this terrible way of life he had to do something about it.


When they found him, he was unconscious on the reclining leather chair, his feet nestling in a warm bowl of water, the water the colour of mulberry wine and bobbing about on the surface, like tiny apples at a Halloween party, were ten little toes. He’d chopped them all off one by one with a Swiss army knife in the sheer hope that his primitive actions would bring him the peace he’d always been denied. But sadly cutting off his toes to spite his fear was not the answer or indeed the best idea Gilbert Donaldson had ever had.