I have lost the meaning of self-respect
I forgot that it applied to me,
I used the word bluntly and blunderbussed
all that I could see.
With wild contempt of all and everything
I cut the world to the bone.
Loosing sight of my own inadequacies,
those failings that marked my own.
Now looking in the mirror of reflection
and what rips apart my soul,
if living is a road of no direction
then depression is but the toll.
Self loathing is but a parody
of a lack of self respect,
And with the way I live this life I get back
no more than I should expect.
To see a life through someone else’s eyes
would I imagine be
Medicinal in its purpose of trivialising
that parody.
I have always known those things I don’t want.
Whilst struggling to understand who is me,