Finally - I get what I want,
Silence, peace and an empty house
The thing that I once craved, now my enemy.

Rolled up in a ball,
In the corner of the room,
The white walls closing in on me....

Tears start rolling down my face,
No one loves me - I want to scream
I can only think of one thing...Loneliness again.

A different type of loneliness,
Silence day-by-day, no interaction, no conversation.
I crave someone’s touch, someone's love

I go for walks, wanting to talk
Hoping, praying some one will notice me
Ask me for a drink, a chat or even just the time.

I look at my front door - and know now what waits inside.
Those lonely rooms, those memories of before
A house full of depression

I let myself in,
Sit on the floor,
Scrunch myself in a ball.

I wonder to myself - was it better before?
The thought that I had occasionally before comes back to haunt me
Again and again - Suicide... an easy escape?

Will someone tell me the answer?
Make the hate, the pain all go away.
I want to lash out, but at whom?