My lad he's sharp and cool
On deadpan humour keen
And on my ex-wife's kitchen shelf
I spied a pot of cream.

Udder Cream the label said
A moisturiser pink
It keeps her skin from glowing red
Makes her younger so she thinks

A gag jumped unasked in my head
I didn't want to row
But William spoke my thoughts and said
Its stuff that's for a cow