Printed from WriteWords -


by  sowelu

Posted: Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Word Count: 389

Shadows of myself possess my inner child.
There is a distance inside of me, that cannot be controlled.
The space and emptiness is forever out of reach.
I want to speak, but I've lost my inner voice.
Circles surrounding me,ever following me,
down to the bottom of myself.
There's an urgency that carries me,to the outmost part of me.
I don't know who I am anymore, am I me or am I me?

Perpetuating movements of my mind confuse me now.
I cannot understand the reasons of things I see.
There's an urgency to run from where I am, but where would I go?
Being here is all I have, all I've got, and all I know.
Where do I start the ride? Where do I feel? Where do I see?
Recovering the pains of all my yesterdays.
Am I ever to set myself free?

I left you in the back of my mind, I can't help it, it happens all the time.
There's a deep inner need in me to let you go forever,
and I don't know why I feel this way,and I don't know if I will ever?
The peace I find is burning up inside my soul.
I can't seem to catch up with the thoughts in my mind,
they overtake me and carry on without me following.
I crave to have somebody here, to rest with me awhile.
But I cannot gather the speed to run the distance anymore.
Because I don't know where I am, I don't know where I'm going.
Always with me but not with me, I have no way of knowing.

The rest is history, it's been written all the time.
There is no way to understand the thoughts inside my mind.
The thoughts I have make no sense to me at all.
Separated yearnings will I rise or will I fall?
They conquer all the memories and feelings I ever had.
I don't know why this pleases me, am I happy or am I sad?
Suddenly nothing is clear to me anymore.
And what used to be so special doesn't matter to me anymore.
Sharing who I am is hurtful to those who want to hear.
Another day,another life, nothing seems clear to me now.
I want to let all the anger out, but somehow I don't know how.