Alan Jazzmags

A few days after Alan Jazzmags, 62, and his wife checked their selections, married them up with the official winning numbers, and then received a confirmatory phone call, Alan had an eerie, almost inexplicable feeling that he'd won the Audiville Lotto.

The Jazzmags' immediate family, their families, their in-laws, some distant cousins and some people they once met at a glazing convention all travelled to Audiville to help them celebrate their £64.3m prize.

Alan and Maureen, a former lime welder, insist they won't be changing anything. "The kids will still go hungry and cold, and work all hours for us," they said from their beachfront apartment in Waikiki.

Johnny Luftwaffe

You just never know which numbers are going to come up in the Audiville Lotto. But, if you're like Johnny Luftwaffe, 72, of Strategy Avenue, you don't take any chances. Johnny covered every base, spending over £11.65m on tickets that nailed every possible numerical combination. "Except one," said Johnny, from the psychiatric wing of Audiville General Hospital.

Jimmy Boyband

Jimmy Boyband, 82, who wishes to be known only as Jimmy Boyband, scooped last week's £54m jackpot. Jimmy says the money won't change his life. "No, I won't be retiring, but I'll sure as hell be taking it a lot easier behind my monitor," said Jimmy, who works as an air-traffic controller.

Jimmy was nearly disqualified under the rule that says you have to present an unlikely tale of outrageous fortune to claim a lottery prize. With this in mind, he deliberately picked an argument with his fishmonger. "I told the guy that charging £10 for trout was too much," said Jimmy. "I said I would pay him £9, and then I went to the store and used my pound to buy a Lotto ticket."

Jimmy is a great believer in charity, and hopes to donate the first half of his winnings to the Audiville Lotto Commission. "I'll be keeping the zeros," said a confused Jimmy, from his deckchair.

Emily Felony

Emily Felony, 59, has won £172.8m. Emily says her next step could be to help her much-loved father-in-law. He has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and medical bills alone will come to over £14,000. "I suppose this means I'll have to chip in towards the cost of his treatment now," said Emily, from her speedboat.

Adds Emily: "My husband and I will be celebrating with a trip for two to Disneyland. We have 26 grandchildren, 14 great nieces and nephews and seven great granchildren. It's just such a shame our trip clashes with term-time," said a delighted Emily from the back seat of her limo.

"I've always believed that raising children with strong Christian values, a powerful work ethic and a sense of community was the most important thing in life," says Emily. ˜But I know that's all bollocks now."

Emily also intends to buy Tom Jones and a share in a dolphin.