I'm getting a tummy for Christmas
I can't keep away from the gin
the stuffing
the snacking
while doing the wrapping
are stopping my quest
to be thin

I'm getting a tummy for Christmas
now pass me that bottle of wine
I'm ordering
today
a crapload from Ebay
and pray that it gets here
on time

I'm getting a tummy for Christmas
to add to the tum from before
as candlelight
flickers
the give in my knickers
can't take all the strain
anymore

I'm getting a tummy for Christmas
the After Eights, all disappeared
along with the
Twiglets
and blankets with piglets
but I'm back on the diet
New Year!