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A love poem - revision

by  nickb

Posted: Friday, September 15, 2017
Word Count: 159
Summary: Thanks for al the really useful feedback. Have tried to listen to it as much as possible.




Let us stand stock still, as we are,
the warp of my arm on the weft of your waist,
watch the sun sing across the garden
to the vale beyond, and face
the estuary on its turning tide.
 
Our shadows merge like a great standing stone.
In their slow drift East to West
they weave in whispers, shade on shade,
the story of our lives, our love.
This moment with you is a home coming.
 
I have few words; I’ll let the blackbirds’ chatter
tell you what I am, your heart’s echo. 
I would pull your fabric close to mine.
This tapestry will show the night we met,
and, oh that kiss, that kiss we built a life on.
 
I would stand here until the leaves fall,
all these long days on the hill
and in the moonlight as it dresses our shadow again.
Stay with me and hold me still
so that the rest of me unfurls.