Points of View

Sir,
I felt compelled to write…..about the filth you screened last night. I didn’t see the show myself, but I was told by someone else, of heaving bodies, naked breasts screened way beyond the watershed.
Your viewers’ guidelines stipulate you won’t show sex or tit-till-eight. But this you screened at half past ten – and I had gone to bed by then!  I’m sure there’s plenty more like me who pay your hefty licence fee, and - you should know - it’s 'sex that sells'.
Signed
‘Disgusted’
Tunbridge Wells

 
Dealing with Rejection

Sir, 
I’ve just received your rejection letter, saying my work’s not worth setting in type, and that you’re inundated with stuff that’s much better and that, in your opinion, my poetry’s tripe. 
Thank you, Sir, for your honest perusal - but remember that Decca executive chap when who, like you, offered first refusal, wrote back to The Beatles to say they were crap. 
Yours etc etc