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What Next?

by  ChrisB

Posted: Sunday, January 25, 2004
Word Count: 242
Summary: This poem is attempting to describe the continual battle and confrontations we have with our demons, insecurities and self doubts.




I’m stuck, I feel dead washed up as I’m lying here on my bed
Yesterdays dreams are all gone, my future is a nightmare
My selfless being is empty, hopeless and in despair
Beckham on TV again, is he really happy and free
Fuck yes, no doubt about it, as he walks on water and clouds
Without any doubts, yet as I struggle and fight
Not just once, but for the one millionth time.

So what next, oh yes, what am I going to make out of this vex
This one incredible journey and opportunity called life
It is in me I know it, I feel it, but have I really got the temperate to succeed
So sedate in this current state of mind, let me blame me
If I am going to be late, is that so great, I’m definitely no ape
Born into this world of all worlds, who am I and who are you
Is my mothers brothers dog as real as my fathers cousins cat.

Why are we so afraid when love embraces all
If fear exists then it is not perfect love
I want to experience all, yes I want to grow
Who doesn’t want some fame, to be somebody new
Don't we all a little bit, so be it inside of outside
Which way do you fall, is the enemy really out there
Or is it really the inner conflict, between the spirit and ego mind.