Grumpy Old Man Poem

I don’t like

music.

Black Spiders, Three Daft Monkeys.
Thrash, crust and funk.
The Who, The Why.

I like the noises made by
Mozart, Shostakovich,
Muddy Waters, Bessie Smith,
But that’s not music.

I don’t like

television.

Hitler’s henchmen.
Hitler’s diary.
Hitler’s jobbies.

More mysteries
of Ancient Egypt.

Fat families
and other freaks.

More mysteries
of Ancient Egypt.

Only Fools and Horses
that used to be alive,
cold-bloodedly repeated
till it’s dead.

I don’t like

movies.

What’s on at the pictures?
Films that bust ass.

Any films that move
to laughter and/or tears?
No. Films that bust ass.

I don’t like

standup comedy.

Fuck ha-ha.

I still like books
but just inside
the bookshop
I trip over
Blair: A Journey.