Blindness is a horrible thing. All you see is dark, dark and even more dark. Don’t worry, I’m not blind, no one I know is. It’s just that sometimes, you feel as though you are blind. I know it sounds funny but when you feel lonely, you feel closed off and in an everlasting darkness. My point is, being closed off is like being blind. In the dark. Alone.
Don’t be fooled by the start but this is no fairy story of a blind girl going round saving people and then wishing on a star and getting her sight back. If you thought that, well, you couldn’t be more wrong really. This isn’t even about a blind person. It’s about someone, me, who is closed off and feels forgotten by the world.
Anyway, you now know what not to expect. Here goes, remember this is no fairy story so I will start somewhere different, somewhere unexpected. Somewhere like a toilet but that’s already been done by Darren Shan, lets see, let’s start in a shed…

Dear diary,
Holidays are meant to be fun, so are weekends. This is a cross between both. See, I’m at my Nan’s place. Huh, it’s this little cottage in the, middle of nowhere. The gardens huge, practically a field! I found this shed right; it’s perfect for hiding in! A flowerpot to sit on, a load of wood that has no use at all and an escape route at the back!
Big lie!
Its dark, cold, cramped and, there is a flipping spider crawling over my foot. There are no flowerpots to sit on or any floorboards!
I want to go home. At least there I could shut myself in my room and cry! But no; I’m stuck in flaming Scotland in the middle of nowhere with Nan calling me in every two seconds to meet an unknown Aunt or some stupid distant relative!
Not to mention my kid brothers and sister pestering me and wanting to ‘play’, well if you call playing with silly little stuffed animals and making them talk is playing anyway.
Not to mention my big brother who is shouting at me 24/7 and beating me black and blue. Sure I want to be here! NOT!
There goes Nan again, I wonder which second cousin twice removed it is this time. Aghh! Ok I’m coming, write soon.
See you luv Lilly.



As Lilly got to the kitchen, she saw a boy and presumably his mother sitting at the old kitchen table.

“Ok, remember, take a deep breath, smile and be polite,” she muttered as she opened the door.
The woman was dressed in a red dress that looked like something from Grease, had fake pearl beads around her neck and gold painted shoes.

“Lilly dar-ling, how wonderful to see you, did you know, the last time I saw you, you were only this high!”

The woman in red indicated a height, which was about 50 centimeters from the ground. Lilly raised her eyebrows a fraction.

“Hi, err…”

“Surly you remember Auntie Kathy and your cousin Ben,” she gestured towards a spotty teenager, not much older than Lilly by the look of him, “so any way, goodness me!!! You are a mess! Where have, you been! Honestly Betty,” she said, rounding on Lilly’s Nan, “can’t you keep the girl clean for five minutes!”

A crash from above them brought Auntie Kathy’s clean speech to a halt.

“Oh my goodness, Sam!”

With that the woman in red swept out of the kitchen and up the stairs, closely followed by Lilly’s Nan. Lilly was left alone with Ben. She sat down and set her leather bound diary in front of her. Ben broke her silence.

“So, Lilly, hi. My names Ben and your Auntie is my mum. We live in London but we had to pick Sam up, he’s my brother you know, he was christened with you. He comes to school in Scotland but I don’t, I go to school in London, and did you know that I have got lots of mates their, and…”

“Do you ever shut up?” Lilly was so over come by Ben speech, she was angry. She got up to go back to her shed for some peace and quiet but in hearing voices she sat down again and began to write in her diary …

Dear diary,
Hi, I’m back again and sitting next to me at this very minute is the cousin from hell! Trust me, I am not joking! His name is Ben and he is one of those spotty sixteen year olds who think that they are so great and every girl is dieing to go out with them. Oh help! Now his mother is coming downstairs with another of her prodigal sons.

But instead of another horrible, spotty teenager, in came middle heighted, blonde haired, dish!

“So, Lilly, I would like you to meet Sam!”











Dear Diary,
Sam is so cool1
I can hardly keep my eyes off him. He is gorgeous. I really hope he likes me. He has blonde hair, really deep brown eyes that seem to look right into your heart, lovely tanned body, great shape too, he was wearing; blue denim shorts (long), one of those black shirts with the fire on it, Vans shoes and his fringe gelled up. And, get this, he is approachable, he is staying with his Uncle Tom (my great Uncle) and he lives just over the river. Nan even said he could come over on Sunday for lunch and then stay the night. Pity, spotty Ben is staying too. But the other good news is that Auntie Kathy has taken …and…(my stupid brothers), and Kelly, (my pesky little sis), and even the blooming baby to see Auntie Greta and Uncle Peter for the rest of the week! So, today is Thursday and they are coming back on Monday, Sam is coming over on Sunday lunchtime so that gives me about, eighteen hours too:
a) Get him to like me
b) Get him to fancy me
c) Get him to ask me out
d) Get him to kiss me

Not a lot then.
I will wear my black jeans and lacey top, with my back, pointy boots.
Yep. I will be drop dead gorgeous. Just like him I guess.
Anyway. Got to go. I am turning the shed into a love pad. Well ok, I have used the loose wood to make a floor, even if it doesn’t fit together. I have painted the walls, not pink but pale yellow and now have got to move, a small table, two chairs and a mat in to it. I found them in the attic.
See you soon luv Lilly. xxx

Sunday came quicker than Lilly expected it to. When Ben And Sam arrived with sleeping bags and their night stuff, Lilly was checking her reflection in her Nan’s full-length mirror and putting the last touches to her immaculate make-up.

“Lilly, they’re here, come and say hello dear.” Nan’s voice drifted up the stairs and Lilly shot into her own room, well, on lone for now any way. She had tidied it but left out a few grown up things to make her look grown up. The room was cream with a pink boarder at the top and bottom. There was a bed, chest of draws, desk, chair and a window that looked across the river, which ran into Loch Loma. You could just see it through the trees in the distance. She slides her shoes on and called down the stairs.

“It’s ok Nan, send them up if you like!”

Nan’s voice could just be heard as she clicked her way across the wooden floor.

“Go on up boys, I think she must still be getting ready in the bathroom.”

The sounds of feet on the stairs triggered a weird reaction inside Lilly. She ran to the window and settled herself, half hidden behind the curtain; she thought that she would look reasonably cool. One of her feet swung down.

“Ultra sexy,” she muttered.

“Hey Lilly, It’s me again, your fav’ cousin Ben.”

Ben giggled stupidly as Lilly groaned. She hastily changed it to a cough and swung herself round to look at the prat and the sex god.
Sam looked super cool again in black denim and blue shirt with black Chinese signs round the bottom.

“Hi guys, glad you could make it.”

Lilly jumped off the windowsill, landed like a cat and sat on her bed; half hiding behind her hair she began to talk.

“So, how was the trip here, cold I guess ‘cause it’s cold but hey, that’s Scotland for you. Ok, let me just check your names, you” she said pointing at Sam who was leaning on the closed door, “are Sam, and you are Ben,” she said pointing at Ben who was stood in a pair of odd socks that weren’t even covered by his blue jeans because they were about three sizes too small for him so they became ankle swingers, a perfectly white t-shirt and worn woolies trainers.

“Yep, that’s us alright.”

Sam spoke this time so Ben didn’t get a chance to talk for about two seconds.

“Cool, make yourselves comfortable, you don’t have to stay standing.”

Ben sat on the desk chair but Sam made his way over to the C.D player.

“What C.Ds do you have?

“Err, well there is an Avril Lavigne album some where.”

Lilly got up and went to search with Sam.

“Most of them are Nan’s old classical ones I think but I definitely brought Avrils with me.”

“Ben, can you come and help me with some stuff please.”

Nan’s voice carried up the stairs again and Ben left the room.

“Got it!”

Lilly went and put it on and she began to talk to Sam…


Dear Diary,
I have come to the shed while Nan quizzes Sam and Ben about their lives. I feel sorry for them, really I do. I think Sam likes me; I’m not sure about the fancy bit yet but I think I’m close. I always have to walk Jasper, Nan’s pet Pooch and Sam asked if he could come with me then. I’ve decided to go to the river and follow it down to the Loch, sit and talk for a bit and then head back.
Anyway I’d better go and get ready, again, but if I can score Sam then it will be worth it.









Lilly and Sam sat by the Lake. The sun had gone to bed hours ago, they talked and watched the ripples of the water circle endlessly.
Sam lent across Lilly to whisper something in her ear.
Suddenly, he laughed out loud and faced Lilly again. He was laughing so much tears rolled down his face, he lent over towards Lilly again.
An unexpected yelp of help and shock stopped Sam’s tears of laughter to an abrupt halt and Lilly wiped a smear of bright lipstick from her chin.

“What was that!”

“Don’t know.”

Sam lent over Lilly again but she pushed him back.
“Sam, please.”

“What? You liked it a minute ago, and besides, what ever it was has got nothing to do with us.”

“Yeah, but…” her voice trailed off.

“What?”

“Jasper!”

Lilly leapt to her feet and ran. Falling abruptly to the ground after a few paces.

“Ohh, damn these shoes!”

She kicked them off and ran again.

“Lilly, wait up.”

Sam picked up the shoes and started after Lilly, the coat lay forgotten by the side of the Lake.
By the time Sam caught up with Lilly she was laid on her back with her eyes shut. Her clothes were soaking wet and the little dog lay at her feet.

“Lilly, Lilly, are you ok?”

Lilly rolled onto her side, groaned, coughed up some water and sat up looking at Sam who was now on his knees, trying, and failing miserably, to hug her.

“Get off me you idiot! Have you any idea, any at all of what you put me through?”

“Huh…”

“I said…”

“Yeah, I heard what you said, but what has that got to do with me?”

“This skirt, plus the top and tights cost over a hundred quid!”

“Didums,” Sam’s eyebrows knitted together, “you run over here to rescue that mangy mutt from the river and pass up on me? I don’t get you. You were all over me before and now, well… maybe I shouldn’t be wasting my time with a kid like you!”

Sam stalked off and left Lilly gob-smacked. She picked up the dog and ran after Sam.










She crept in un-noticed and ran to her room. After changing and getting ready for bed she sat and wrote a note for Sam.
Sam, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to muck it up but Nan would have killed me if I’d left Jasper to die. Please forgive me. I had a great time. Love Lilly. XXX

She padded into the room where Sam was sleeping and stepped over his sleeping bag. She left the note on his desk. As she stepped back over the sleeping bag to leave, a hand shot out and pulled her to the floor. She tried to scream but a hand clapped over her mouth. She bit into it.

“You cow!” Said the owner, taking the hand away.

“Sam? Oh my God! Sam, I’m so sorry.”

She looked at the hand and saw blood seep out of two teeth shaped cuts.

“I’m so sorry Sam. I didn’t know it was you.”

“Well who else would be in my sleeping bag? A mad axe murderer?”

“You never know!”

She picked up his hand and used her sleeve to put over the wound and stop it bleeding.

“You silly girl, come here,” Sam said softly, “You must be freezing.”

“A little bit I suppose.”

Sam pulled her close and held her tight. He pulled her into his chest and kissed her forehead, her ear, her nose, her chin, her lips.

“Sam, don’t…”

“Don’t be scared. I wont hurt you.”

“I know.”

“No one will come”
“I know.”

Sam kissed her again, softly. Then again, more meaningful this time. Again and again he kissed her. Lilly turned and kissed him back.

“See you soon.”

She got up and left for her own room.
She slid under the sheets, the warmth of his body stayed with her.

A little after the sun came up a figure slipped through Lilly’s bedroom door.