'Some tea darling?'

John sat staring round the room; he had waited for this moment for the past three months. His tour of duty in Iraq had been shrouded in mystery, he was not permitted to tell anyone not even his wife. He stretched back in the chair and closed his eyes. He could hear Alice pottering around in the kitchen; a satisfying and comforting sound.

‘Would you like some tea?’ asked Alice popping her head around the door.

‘Thanks,’ John said opening his eyes and smiling at her.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Why?’

‘You were calling out in your sleep last night.’

John sat bolt upright a look of panic shot across his face, ‘What did I say?’

‘The usual when you come back from a tour of duty, names of people and barking orders. Generally it goes into a whole series of indecipherable mumbo jumbo.’

John stared at her not saying anything.

‘Don’t look at me like that John, you’re scaring me.’

‘Did I say any name in particular ?’ he demanded.

‘Yes – Jack. You kept saying his name over and over.’

John got up and walked to the bay window and looked out over the garden. He looked at the neat trim lawn and the well marshalled rows of flowers in the borders. A robin flew into the garden and perched on a tub then flitted from branch to branch. He became so absorbed that he didn’t hear Alice.

‘John! John! What’s wrong?’ he remained staring out of the window following the antics of the robin.

‘John will you speak to me?’ she demanded. As if coming out of a trance he turned and looked at his wife.

‘What did you say?’

‘John will you please tell me what is going on? Since you arrived home last Friday you've been so distant, I don’t seem to be able to get through to you. What’s going on? Who is this Jack?’

John crossed the room took Alice by the hands; there were tears in his eyes, he sat her down. Alice was about to speak but he shook his head to stop her.

'Alice I'm having second thoughts about my career in the army.'

'I don't understand.'

'Let me explain. What I say now you must never tell another living soul, do you promise?' Alice nodded her head. 'About three weeks after I arrived in Iraq I was selected by command to head up a top secret operation. Major Rowland, Jack, was an explosive expert, the best, was attached to the group. His job was to detect explosives as we went behind enemy lines. We had been tracking for almost eight hours, the men were exhausted but I wanted to use the last of the light. Jack pleaded with me but I brushed his request aside. We reached a clearing and I ordered Jack to scan for mines. He turned to me and said he rather wait until morning. I denied his request. He shook his head but I insisted and said he would be on a charge if he disobeyed. Reluctantly he began to check the ground.' John began to squeeze Alice's hands so tight that she flinched with pain. He noticed and released the pressure.

'Everything happened at once. A small child ran into the clearing; Jack looked up and screamed 'No' He ran with incredible speed towards the child to prevent her foot tripping a wire, in doing so he stood on a mine and was blown to smithereens. My jacket was covered in blood and flesh. We all stood horrified.'

'The child?' asked Alice.

'She was thrown back with the force of the explosion. Jack had saved her life but I had caused his death. I should have listened.' Tears were now rolling down his face and dripping onto his shirt. Alice had gone white.

'What happens now?' whispered Alice.

'I don't know.'