Homecoming
by 
scamp
|
Posted: Wednesday, February 4, 2009 Word Count: 512 Summary: Our local writer's group agreed this title for obvious reasons and also the length. My original was about 800 words before pruning. Do you think it shows? Any comments welcome. |
Homecoming
Jamie Macleod’s heart ached as he stared back at the familiar mountain peaks fading below the horizon. Work around him went unnoticed. Men swarmed up the rigging as the Hector heeled against the wind. She had been built for those who wished to emigrate to Canada. Jamie watched the misty clouds above his homeland disappear then turned, faced the Atlantic and looked to his future
It had become clear that the croftland in Sutherland could not support all of his family. Tears had fallen when he hugged and kissed his mother and sister. His father and his elder brother had walked a way with him. Few words were said, each knew the finality of this parting. Jamie had heard of the riches in gold awaiting young men in the new world.
The sea crossing was a nightmare. The ship was sturdy but rode high in the water, so constantly swayed and rolled in the stormy seas. Soon the lower decks were awash with vomit, loud with cries of pain. It became a familiar sight to see another corpse slide back into the brine.
At long last they sailed up the estuary to anchor in line with other ships waiting clearance to enter Canada.. When they landed Jamie spent his last coins on joining a wagon train to Alaska.
If the sea voyage had been a nightmare the land passage was hell. Jamie became indifferent to - men ravening raw flesh from frozen mules; despairing waving hands as canoes overturned in icy rivers; women being thrust violently aside as hands grabbed for crusts of bread:
A much tougher Jamie Macleod started digging in the gold fields. He was incredibly lucky to strike it rich. Jamie had become expert at card games learnt in candle light at home during the long Highland winter nights and was fascinated to see huge sums gambled in poker games. He became a close friend of the most skilled player, who saw something of himself in the young man and tutored him. Jamie was soon a rich man and decided to return home with his fortune.
He rode over the pass seeking streaks of peat smoke from friendly scattered crofts in the glen. At the top he stopped, astounded. Well remembered homes were now marked by lines of fire-blackened rubble. Nature was reclaiming the land with bracken growing through foot-trodden earth.
Jamie heard his sister tell how the crofters had not believed the Duke would clear their land. How the Factor and troops came, of the violence that left his father dead and his brother transported to Australia.
Jamie Macleod learnt of the Duke’s gambling addiction and one night at poker said that he could continue to play only against the surety of his castle and lands.
The Duke and Duchess sat on the front of the cart which was loaded with all they could carry from their castle. Jamie led them far inland, up into the hills. When they crested a pass he turned to them and said welcome to your new home.
508 words Ian MacMillan
Jamie Macleod’s heart ached as he stared back at the familiar mountain peaks fading below the horizon. Work around him went unnoticed. Men swarmed up the rigging as the Hector heeled against the wind. She had been built for those who wished to emigrate to Canada. Jamie watched the misty clouds above his homeland disappear then turned, faced the Atlantic and looked to his future
It had become clear that the croftland in Sutherland could not support all of his family. Tears had fallen when he hugged and kissed his mother and sister. His father and his elder brother had walked a way with him. Few words were said, each knew the finality of this parting. Jamie had heard of the riches in gold awaiting young men in the new world.
The sea crossing was a nightmare. The ship was sturdy but rode high in the water, so constantly swayed and rolled in the stormy seas. Soon the lower decks were awash with vomit, loud with cries of pain. It became a familiar sight to see another corpse slide back into the brine.
At long last they sailed up the estuary to anchor in line with other ships waiting clearance to enter Canada.. When they landed Jamie spent his last coins on joining a wagon train to Alaska.
If the sea voyage had been a nightmare the land passage was hell. Jamie became indifferent to - men ravening raw flesh from frozen mules; despairing waving hands as canoes overturned in icy rivers; women being thrust violently aside as hands grabbed for crusts of bread:
A much tougher Jamie Macleod started digging in the gold fields. He was incredibly lucky to strike it rich. Jamie had become expert at card games learnt in candle light at home during the long Highland winter nights and was fascinated to see huge sums gambled in poker games. He became a close friend of the most skilled player, who saw something of himself in the young man and tutored him. Jamie was soon a rich man and decided to return home with his fortune.
He rode over the pass seeking streaks of peat smoke from friendly scattered crofts in the glen. At the top he stopped, astounded. Well remembered homes were now marked by lines of fire-blackened rubble. Nature was reclaiming the land with bracken growing through foot-trodden earth.
Jamie heard his sister tell how the crofters had not believed the Duke would clear their land. How the Factor and troops came, of the violence that left his father dead and his brother transported to Australia.
Jamie Macleod learnt of the Duke’s gambling addiction and one night at poker said that he could continue to play only against the surety of his castle and lands.
The Duke and Duchess sat on the front of the cart which was loaded with all they could carry from their castle. Jamie led them far inland, up into the hills. When they crested a pass he turned to them and said welcome to your new home.
508 words Ian MacMillan