“Benny Flashman is me name –
double-glazing is the game.
For me to leave, you’ll soon be wishing,
but I am on a fat commission!

I’m thick-skinned – you can call me names.
I’m here to sell you casement frames.
I’ll do the whole house – just 8K
and I ain’t gonna go away

until I have your signature
for windows and a new front door.
Compare our prices – there’s none fairer
(You’re lucky ‘cos we’re in your area).

My slick sales patter can’t be halted.
All our frames are triple-bolted.
Supplied with several sets of keys –
no petty thief will get through these.

If we can photograph your place,
we’ll make your home a special case
and sell you a conservat’ry.
You’ll need a mortgage? – let me see,

I’ve got the forms right here – no fuss
You’ll thank yourselves you bought from us.
What’s that? – You want to go to bed?
I trust it’s nothing that I’ve said?

And ‘Do I know the bloody time?’
Just sign here on the dotted line,
then I’ll be gone and you can rest
assured that you have bought the best.

Hold on, don’t call the CID,
they’ve got a whacking file on me.
By your reluctance, I’m amazed –
you really should be double-glazed”.