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Accidents, Mishaps, and other inconsequential moments of fate/chance/tweakings

by  Jordan789

Posted: Friday, April 11, 2008
Word Count: 235
Summary: Gawd--I might have to shorten the title. For this week's challenge. Good luck. !




Seven grams—I want seven grams. Do you hear me? Yes. But this thing doesn’t measure grams. How many ounces do you want? How big is one?

Six. Then I want four. Four ounces. Alright. Go do something and it will be done soon. Like what? Christ. Read a book. Go walk Billy and tell him about your day. I don’t know. What else could I do? I don’t know. Well—do you think it was a good thing to do? What? Cut down the big tree. The yard looks like it’s missing something. Christ. We needed to cut it down because the ants were eating the house. Go, sit in the other room for five minutes, and then the sausage will be done, and then you can eat it and we can go rent a movie. Okay? Okay.

Here, drink this. It will help. Billy, drink this. Drink this. My son is choking. No he can’t talk. We’re at twenty Sherman Street.

How long has he been unconscious for? Five minutes. Jesus Christ. Billy. Jesus Christ. Billy. How do you feel? My throat hurts. Jesus Christ.

And next time, take smaller bites. Okay. Still up for renting a movie? Yes. Do you know that I thought you were dead? What a way to go, eating an italian sausage. You know, people do that all of the time. I overheard the ambulance driver saying, not another one.