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Wendy and the Lunchtime Lechers

by  Mickey

Posted: Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Word Count: 119
Summary: Harriet Harperson’s latest outrageous intrusion into our lives reminded me of this. Some of you may have seen it before. I’ve just e-mailed it to the Daily Mail but I imagine the last line will preclude its publication!




Wendy works the lunchtime shift,
and gives the punters quite a lift,
in the wine bar where she works
dispensing lunches. In split skirt
she raises lunchtime temperatures
of middle-aged bank managers.

While serving up their plates of quiche
to businessmen who, off the leash
of wives, and kids, and mortgage worries,
passions hot as Indian curries,
leer at her with bulging eyes,
while busy munching cold pork pies.

And loudly telling sexual fables,
while poor Wendy’s waiting tables.
(She knows when they’re not on the loose,
they wouldn’t say ‘boo’ to a goose!)

So as she’s busy serving food,
she has to brave the comments lewd.
But, in the kitchen, she derides
“They wouldn’t touch the bloody sides!”