Before their re-branding as Cub Scouts
When I was just eight and a half
I became what was known as a Wolf Cub
Where I started to learn woodland craft

We met in a hut in the forest
Where the modern day bypass runs through
And we happily played British Bulldog
(I suppose today that wouldn’t do!)

We were taught to tie bowlines and hitches
And shown how to take plaster casts
Of the cloven-hoofed tracks of a roe deer
Where the juggernaut lorries now pass

We’d a pole with a wolf’s head, and banners
From which our pack colours hung proudly
We were told “have respect and good manners”
And yelled that we’d “do our best” loudly

We promised that we’d do our duty
To God and the Queen, and each day
To do a good turn to another
And to never, from need, turn away

Akela’s assistant, Bagheera,
Was a strapping great lad of thirteen
Who instilled in us panic and fear as
He checked if our neck-scarves were clean

We earned badges for helping our mothers
We grew mustard-and-cress and lit fires
We were told to be truthful and honest
'Cos the worst thing to be was a liar

We showed we were ready and willing
For any small task to be found
And we offered to work for a shilling
When bob-a-job week came around

We had sheath knives for whittling wood with
Or for skinning a rabbit for tea
And we sailed through the air on a rope swing
That was tied to an ancient Oak tree

But our hut in the forest has gone now
There’s a whacking great Tescos instead
With cheap DVDs where once there were trees
Because Cub Scouts today have no ‘cred’