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Dear Fear

by  dr_mandrill

Posted: Wednesday, October 8, 2003
Word Count: 196
Summary: Wanting not to get over losing somebody in case they disappear. I've tried to make loss into a character in it's own right.




Thanks for stopping by to see me
In those quiet moments at work.
Reassuring to know
That when my in-tray's clear
You'll be there to twist the knife.

And thanks
For creeping up behind me and teasing
His photo from my wallet while I waited to pay.
The pain made me sick as he fluttered to the ground
And I felt lucky to have you.

I'm sorry I lost you in the park.
The cold light and the leaves I kicked up
Were all perfect, really.
I'm glad you found me by the gates and screamed
That forgetting him was unforgiveable.
I'm glad you walked me home and made me listen
While you listed what was gone.
Your memory is infallible for the details.
It felt better to be hurting on the last good day of autumn
When the weak sun couldn't show me his hair.

Most of all thanks for the nights.
It makes it so much easier, knowing
That you'll be waiting for me on her side of the bed
To hold me in your frozen arms.
I look forward to the brittle kiss you give
As I wake
And realise he's not there.