TEASER


PARKING LOT

Jim drives into parking lot. As he’s talking to the camera Dwight throws himself across the hood. It’s a lesson in paying attention. Dwight supervises Jim’s parking. Angela is arriving at the same time. Dwight sees her in Jim’s wing mirror. Andy steps out and tries to put his arm around Angela. She looks a little uncomfortable. Dwight grins. Jim can’t get out of the driver’s side where Dwight makes him park, and he hits Dwight with his door on his way out of the passenger side.


ACT ONE

PARKING LOT
MICHAEL (V/O)
Explains that a corporate theatre company are visiting the branch today.

A group of people climb out of a van, and unload boxes of props and costumes.

INTO

TALKING HEAD – MICHAEL
Tells how this theatre workshop was all his idea. In reality Ryan insisted he do something to repair relations in the office. Michael did pick this however. He boasts about his extensive background in theatre and improvisation. “We open our mouths and God speaks. But… when I open my mouth God sounds a lot like me. So…”

SCENE TWO – MAIN OFFICE:
Andy is at Angela’s desk – doing a little dance. Angela looks slightly nauseous and her face is a rictus. When she notices Dwight watching, she laughs - a forced, maniacal laugh. Everyone looks round, startled, including the theatre group, who have just entered.








SCENE THREE - MAIN OFFICE:
Michael emerges from his office in loose clothing and a sweatband. He greets and introduces the theatre group to the office as a whole. Michael instructs everyone to start limbering up.
Michael: Stretch your body so your mind can play. When your mind stretches you can play with your body.
Michael tells everyone to get changed into their improvising gear. No-one has brought any special clothing, except…
Andy has taken off his pants during Michael’s speech to reveal short shorts.
Andy: Alright! I am ready to roll, rock and shock!!!

SCENE FOUR: BREAK ROOM
Jim and Pam discuss how much they don’t want to do this workshop. Jim cancels a long-standing date – he forgot it was a friend’s birthday and they all promised to get together. But because they’ve been joking around Pam assumes he’s still joking.

SCENE FIVE:
TALKING HEAD PAM
Explains about the date and how much she’s looking forward to it. It’s a theatre performance she’s been wanting to see for years. “Oh, Jim was just goofing around”

SCENE SIX – MAIN OFFICE:
Toby compliments Michael on this corporate theatre idea – he thinks it’s very clever. It’s a genuine compliment but because it comes from Toby Michael brushes it off.

Michael “limbers up”. Andy’s doing stretches. Kevin’s eating breakfast.

Kevin: Andy, I can see your…
Michael: Well, Kevin, don’t
Kevin: OK but I already…
Michael: Just – just don’t! And can you not bring food into the acting space?
Kevin: This is my desk.
Angela: Kevin has to eat every fifteen minutes or his eyelids dry out.
Kevin: After what I’ve just seen I may never eat again.

Michael ushers everyone into the conference room to begin the workshop.

As they walk towards the conference room, Jim compliments Michael on his (very) new shoes.

Michael: Well, thank you, Jim. These are the very latest dance sneakers. You see this? This is what is known as a spin spot. (He spins to demonstrate.)
Jim: Dance sneakers, huh? Will there be dancing today Michael?
Michael: If the scene requires it Jim. I have no control over the scene. She is a wild untameable beast. I am really just a tool.

Jim: OK. Well, keep a space on your dance card
for me.

Jim and Pam sneak off, Michael’s so excited he barely notices.


SCENE SEVEN – CONFERENCE ROOM:
The theatre group introduce themselves. They are “AKT” - Alison, Keith and Tim.
They tell the office they are lucky to be working for a man who was nominated for an Emmy. Michael talks over the protests and questions from the group.

They explain and begin a round of spontaneous improvisation. The staff are arranged in a circle, Kevin and Oscar are picked to go into the centre – and they must start improvising a simple scene. At an appropriate time another person is supposed to come in and change the scene to something completely different.

Michael wants to explain how improvisation works. The group actually think Michael is great, so they barely interrupt him, although his ideas about improvisation are a bit wrong-headed. He promotes being as funny as you can be, and thinking of the biggest gestures you can make so you “win”. And he repeats his theory of “we open our mouths and God speaks”

At a point during the scene, Andy enters brandishing a “gun” and “shoots” everyone. Michael was just about to do the same thing, but Andy beat him to it. Michael tells him off, even though that’s what he’s done in his improvisation classes in the past.





SCENE EIGHT
TALKING HEAD – MICHAEL
He didn’t steal my idea! I was gonna be a cop, not a robber. I was gonna be the good guy. Between you and I? I think Andy has issues.


SCENE NINE – CONFERENCE ROOM:
Michael is acting with Stanley. Michael starts doing “the dozens”.
Michael: Yo’ momma she so fat she…. Has type 2 diabetes…
Stanley: My mother’s dead, Michael.
Michael: Oh, snap! Dat is some cold dinnah! What? Oh - way to bring the party down, Stanley!

Toby: That’s just offensive, Michael…I…
Michael: Alright, Stanley, I apologise – I…
Creed bursts into the scene acting like a pimp.
Toby: I really don’t think that’s appropriate. And besides, I don’t think a pimp would really act like that.
Michael: Oh, how would you know, Toby? And this is Creed’s interpretation of a pimp! He isn’t really a pimp – this is acting. Creed doesn’t really talk like that! He doesn’t dress in platform soles and wear a leopardskin g-string either!

SCENE NINE:
TALKING HEAD – CREED
He’s right. It’s not leopardskin.


SCENE TEN – CONFERENCE ROOM:
Dwight gives Andy some tickets for an event Angela would want to go to making him look good.
Angela asks Dwight what he thinks he’s doing. Dwight acts the innocent.

SCENE ELEVEN:
TALKING HEAD – DWIGHT
How was THAT for acting?! I know Angela still likes me. And I intend to win her back. But first I must destroy my enemy. I will pursue him and then I will strike. Unexpectedly. Like a ninja. Or a turkey. The turkey is a stealth machine. When I was growing up on the farm I would spend hours watching the turkeys. When a male turkey had his woman stolen from him, he would stalk his nemesis. Silently. Mercilessly. For days. And then he would attack. Like a ninja. And that’s what I am. A ninja turkey.

This is interspersed with scenes of Angela giving Andy a “Dwight” style tie, trying to get him to wear his shirt sleeves rolled up, re-styling his hair, etc. Dwight looks on in each of these scenes.


SCENE TWELVE - RECEPTION:
Jim and Pam are hiding below the reception desk. Jim cancels their date “for real”.

Pam tries to laugh it off, but after a second, she comes out from under the desk. A second later, Jim comes out.

SCENE THIRTEEN – CONFERENCE ROOM:
AKT introduce “Yes and…” game. (“Yes, and…” is a game where two players build a scene by starting every sentence with the words “Yes, and”, thereby escalating the scene and not blocking any suggestions from the other player)
Michael is not very good at this game. Toby is not particularly making any face but Michael thinks he is.
Michael: Oh well, Toby, if you think you can do any better lets see it!

Toby and Michael do the “Yes, and” game and end up in a somewhat difficult situation. Michael says some very personal things about Toby.

Michael: That’s – uh – I – Hey! Wasn’t me! God said it!”
He does a little comedy dance. No reaction from anyone.

Group leader breaks them for lunch. Pairs them up – when they come back they’ll be working on the theme of “forgiveness”.
















ACT TWO

SCENE ONE – CONFERENCE ROOM:
AKT give out their instructions. Each person must think of someone they need to forgive from their lives, and in the safety of the group imagine that their partner is that person and they are back in that situation and say all the things they wanted to say to the person who wronged them. Then they can let it go.Michael is very uncomfortable – Phyllis and Kevin are doing their “forgiveness” exercise.

SCENE TWO:
TALKING HEAD – MICHAEL
Was I disappointed that I got paired up with Toby? No! No! It’s not like I may vomit blood any second! No!
Toby is sitting beside him.

SCENE THREE – CONFERENCE ROOM:

Andy and Dwight talk “man-talk” about Andy and Angela’s sexual progress, or rather the lack thereof. They haven’t had sex yet, but Andy tells Dwight the reason Angela gave – it’s something ridiculous. Dwight plants the seed of paranoia that Andy just might not be up to the job.

Andy: No way, man! I’m D! The D-bert! The D-ster! Take a ride on the D-Train!! Choooo-chooooooooooooooo!!!

But he’s nervous nonetheless.

Dwight: (TO CAMERA) D-Train? D-Railed…

SCENE FOUR: MAIN OFFICE
Pam approaches Jim – he’s on the phone. She overhears the conversation organising music for the evening ahead. He suggests hiding again. Pam refuses, sayin she’ll sit in on the workshop – it might be fun.

THROUGH THE CONFERENCE ROOM WINDOW WE SEE PHYLLIS CRYING MESSILY AND HUGGING KEVIN

Pam and Jim go into the conference room.


SCENE FIVE:
TALKING HEAD – PAM
She’s annoyed but trying not to be. She knows in her head that one cancelled date does not make Jim Roy, but she feels wounded all the same.
SCENE SIX – CONFERENCE ROOM:
Kelly and Meredith do the “forgiveness” exercise. Obviously Kelly’s target is Ryan. She talks about broken promises. Pam looks at Jim. He grins back. She looks uncomfortable. Meredith suggests Kelly should drink more.

SCENE SEVEN:
TALKING HEAD – JIM
Look, I just forgot I had this other thing, alright? Pam’s just gonna have to deal with it. PAUSE OK I’m not that big a jerk. Can you guys keep a secret? I might need your help.

SCENE EIGHT – CONFERENCE ROOM:
Dwight and Andy do their “forgiveness” exercise. Dwight ups the paranoia on Andy, and Andy feels the need to act like a man, and so he physically and violently dominates Dwight. Dwight allows him to – all the while keeping an eye on Angela’s reactions. She is horrified at Andy’s display.

When they return to their seats, Dwight quietly tells Angela that he will fall on his sword and step out of Andy’s way. And then he grins. Angela stares longingly after him.

Toby and Michael do their forgiveness exercise. Toby goes first. He actually stands up for himself because he’s “in character” – he tells Michael a few home truths.

SCENE NINE:
TALKING HEAD – TOBY
Yeah. That felt good.


SCENE TEN – CONFERENCE ROOM:
Michael decides there is only one person he needs to forgive – himself. But not for his treatment of Toby. For being the best, funniest boss in the world!! He forgives himself, playing both parts, and ends up hugging himself. This turns into a James Brown impression “Oh, I think I wanna kiss maself! Good God! And the joint was BUSTIN’!” Then he spins and falls on his face.

SCENE ELEVEN – MAIN OFFICE/RECEPTION
Jim is leaving. Pam is behind reception. Jim says goodnight and walks out, winking at the camera.



SCENE TWELVE – MICHAEL’S OFFICE:
Toby comes in and wants to clear the air. Michael reluctantly agrees.

Toby: You know, we’re a lot alike, you and I.

Toby leaves

Michael reflects sadly on this thought.

SCENE THIRTEEN – MAIN OFFICE/RECEPTION:
Pam is closing up to leave, and the “camera” steps in front of her, blocking her way out.
Pam: What?!

SCENE FOURTEEN – THE ROOF:
Jim is surrounded by fairy lights, music is playing, he’s set up a table with champagne and grilled cheese sandwiches. It’s the anniversary of the first time they ever went up on the roof.

Pam enters. She is beyond shocked.

Jim: If you don’t want to we can still make the show, I mean I know you wanted to go…
Pam: Halpert there’s nowhere I want to go right now.
Jim: Alright. And this time there will be dancing.


TAG
MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Michael’s getting changed in his office – he tries out his spins. He falls, knocks over his computer monitor, most of his toys, his chair and crashes against the blinds.