Break Free the brilliance in you!
by 
lindy lou
|
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 Word Count: 6914 Summary: We can all identify with the iconic movie ‘The Wizard of Oz’. Each Character is searching for a quality they believe they don’t have. On the journey to Oz. they face many fears that hold them back, but eventually they discover that what they were searching for was already within them. Much of our search in life is like that. We chase the outside world for change, approval and self worth. |
BREAK FREE THE BRILLIANCE IN YOU!
Personal Development through Meditation
At the Heart of Meditation is the Art of Transformation
Lindy Shearer
A little informative eBook to help you on your way
CONTENTS
Introduction 2
About Me 3
The Inner Connection to Personal Growth 4
Preparation for Meditation 5
Physical Relaxation 6
Creative Visualisation 8
The senses in Meditation 10
Two Brains 13
Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious 16
Thoughts and Beliefs 17
Consider How Primary Beliefs are formed 19
Changing a Belief 20
Self Esteem and Confidence 22
Personal Growth 23
Introduction
STRESS! Yes we all have it in today’s modern lifestyle and stress can become a constant companion, having a negative impact on mental and physical wellbeing. All of us have inner resources to combat this and meditation can assist you and encourage you to live a stress free life.
Meditation is a powerful tool for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development. Withdrawing the senses from external stimuli allows us to focus the conscious mind inwardly. With proper instruction we can relax, replenish the central nervous system and eliminate stress and anxiety.
All too often people experience life as conveyor belt, with daily repetitive tasks resulting in a feeling of existing rather than being truly engaged in purposeful living. Meditation can assist us by raising awareness for developing the unlimited potential of who we are and what we can achieve.
When you understand that everything you do is a direct result of what you believe, think and feel from within, you will soon discover that as you change internally, your external reality changes with you.
About me
My early life in Glasgow was no walk in the park. As a young adult I entered therapy and discovered I was sustained by a drive that arose from a fundamental belief in the uniqueness of the individual and their potential. I knew that applied to me just as it applies to everyone.
Through the many years of meditation, study and personal development that followed I came to realise that we exist in order to express our potential, the choices we make determining whether we live our lives to our fullest capability. Since our potential and the choices we make are exclusively ours, each of us is distinctively unique, exceptionally gifted, genuinely the only one of our kind. I also discovered an inner world of communication with my self that was to shape my future.
The gift I now share is the wonder of discovering, respecting and valuing the uniqueness and potential of every individual I encounter.
Through commitment to my work in my Break Free Practice, I have grown to understand that my goal in life is to bring out the best in others. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to work with so many people who have wanted change in their lives and to have helped them along the way.
My hope is that the information shared here can help you to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. The inner journey of meditation is a gentle process that will help you move beyond the mask of limitation. It can heal psychological conditions which hold you back from true expression.
The best to you
Lindy Shearer
Dynamic life change Consultant
www.lindyshearer.co.uk
The inner connection to personal growth
We can all identify with the iconic movie ‘The Wizard of Oz’.
Each Character is searching for a quality they believe they don’t have. On the journey to Oz. they face many fears that hold them back, but eventually they discover that what they were searching for was already within them.
Much of our search in life is like that. We chase the outside world for change, approval and self worth.
Every individual has a unique purpose in life and many are awakening from the slumbers of cultural conditioning. People are choosing a more spiritual and purposeful destiny by connecting and embracing intuitive knowledge from within.
Preparation for Meditation
In order to meditate successfully, we have to learn to relax the whole body.
Relaxation is the absence of tension. Tension, in this context, is muscular tightness or contraction. It naturally fluctuates depending on the degree of physical activity.
Muscles in their natural state will have a slight tension or tone. Our environment can determine our muscle tone, for example it varies with the temperature of a room or with how warmed up our muscles are when preparing for a race.
Thinking can induce pictures in our mind and our thoughts can also influence muscle tone. Thinking of a winter scene can cause muscles to tighten, whereas visualising a warm summer’s day can have a relaxing effect. Our everyday thoughts and experiences are constantly affecting the central nervous system, which in turn determines our muscular tension and behaviour.
In modern society, the workplace can be a stressful environment where physical and mental tension occurs daily. All too often people experience painful physical symptoms and mental stress. These tensions cause energy to burn up easily and can leave tiredness. Without proper care and nurturing we can feel exhausted.
The knock-on effect if this can be far reaching. In my Break Free Practice many clients come to me in such an overwhelmed state that they don’t know where to begin. Their lives are so out of balance, their relationships bordering on dysfunctional if not already, their confidence and performance levels are at an all time low and in some cases a loss of identity occurs.
If you are suffering any of the above symptoms a good place to start is learning to relax. We are able to think more clearly and to focus our attention when in a relaxed state.
When preparing for relaxation or meditation, it is necessary to choose a warm environment. Here is an exercise through which we can use our senses to relax the skeletal muscles into a natural physical state.
Physical Relaxation
Exercise 1
It will help if you tape the following relaxation or get a friend to talk you through it.
Lie out fully stretched with the eyes closed.
Breathe deeply and, at the same time, take the arms overhead and interlink the fingers.
As you breathe out, push the hands away from the head. Simultaneously, push the heels away from you and feel the body lengthen and stretch.
Take the arms forward and rest them by your side, palms facing upwards.
Become aware of your contact points touching the floor by taking your conscious mind through the body:
Start with taking your awareness to the back of the heels touching the floor. Move up to the back of the calf muscles and relax the muscles by letting go of any tension you feel in that area. Continue to the back of the knees, thigh muscles, buttocks, lower back, back of the waist, shoulder blades, back of the neck. Allow the head to be in a comfortable position. Be aware of the back of the arms.
Now, become aware of your breath. Do not interfere with the breath: just be aware of the location of your breathing. Observe the rising and falling of the abdomen with each inhalation and exhalation. Just allow yourself to be a witness to the rising and falling of the breath for one minute.
Notice that each exhalation allows you to relax more deeply. Allow yourself to let go with each exhalation. The out breath is the natural tranquilising breath.
Take your conscious mind through your body beginning with the head. As you breathe out allow the tranquillising breath to soothe any areas where you feel tension.
For each part of the body from head to toes, say to yourself:
“My head is relaxing. My head is deeply relaxed. My eyes are soft and relaxing. My eyes are soft and relaxing. My jaw is relaxing. My jaw is relaxing. I am letting go of all the tension in my face. My neck is resting comfortably. My neck is relaxing. My shoulders are relaxing. My arms and hands are relaxing. My chest area is relaxing. My waist……. and so on throughout the whole body until you reach the feet. Now allow yourself to experience the whole body’s relaxed state.
Remember, the energy of the out-breath will be directed to the part of the body you are conscious of. Energy (or breath) follows consciousness.
Take a deep breath and hold for a few seconds, let go and feel all the remaining tension flow out of your whole body. Imagine being a feather floating in the sky. How does it feel?
Tell yourself, ‘I am totally relaxed, completely relaxed’.
Affirm to yourself, ‘Whenever I want to relax, this is how I will feel.’ and feel it!
Practise every day. You will soon move into a relaxed state very quickly.
Creative visualisation
Visualisation is something we all do already: it is a blueprint from which we construct our lives. Almost everything you’ve done you probably thought about before you did it. That thinking usually includes visualising.
You project how a situation will be and you imagine what it will look like, feel like and sound like. Some people don’t always see an image clearly but they know it is there by the sounds they hear or how things feel. It is a common practice for people but not everyone realises that they can control these images and feelings. Through Meditation you can question these states and recognise whether they are taking you forward in a positive way or holding you back in a negative way. Then you can change them.
Studies have shown that very successful people use imaging in their personal strategies for achieving goals. They can see clearly in their mind what a situation will look like and feel like and this helps to motivate them towards creating a goal and achieving it.
Many people are unknowingly creating their own negative reality by visualising negative thoughts and images. They worry so much about doing something wrong that they create an image of failure and terror. They then go about fulfilling that vision. A self-fulfilling prophecy!
Positive visualisation accomplishes the positive in the same way that negative thinking accomplishes the negative. Using visualisation in meditation helps us preview our goals, makes us comfortable with the reality we are creating. It lets us know when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.
We can use our imagination to create anything in our mind. Should you want to relax mentally and physically, you can imagine walking on a beach with the warmth of the sun on your body or around a lake surrounded with beautiful mountains.
Exercise 2
How do you visualise? What senses are you using?
The following exercise will allow you to experience visualisation using all the senses internally.
• Close your eyes and think of the Statue of Liberty. How does it look?
• Touch the petal of a red rose in your mind. How does it feel?
• Think of a lemon. Imagine cutting it in half, and now imagine squeezing the juices into your mouth. Notice your response.
• See a telephone in your mind. Hear it ringing.
• See and smell freshly cut grass. Pick up a blade of grass and place it in the palm of your hand.
Your senses will get sharper with practise like this.
In meditation we withdraw our senses from the external world and, as in the previous exercise, they wait at our will for instruction internally. We can conduct and instruct our subconscious mind and it ensures that we are developing the best resources within us to be the best we can be.
We can never create actual certainty in life but we can create an inner certainty of who we are in relation to it. Then we can handle any situation from a positive perspective. We always have choices in our ability to respond - That’s literally our ‘Response-Ability’.
The senses in Meditation
Exercise 3
It will help if you tape the following relaxation or get a friend to talk you through it.
Meditation: The Quiet Garden
Move into a seated or lying position, remain quiet and contact the breath.
Relax the body (as in exercise one).
Now that you feel very relaxed and safe in the knowledge that you will become quickly alert should anything need your attention, you will feel calm, confident and refreshed, able to access any information you require.
Imagine you are going to create a beautiful garden. Fill it with coloured blossom and flowers, trees and shrubs. Make your garden as grand as you wish. There is no limitation in meditation. Create a water feature and see and hear the crystal clear water delightfully rippling around the feature. Cup some water in your hands and taste the freshness in your mouth.
As you walk amongst the colourful shrubs and trees, feel the sun against your face and a slight wind playfully blowing through your hair. Take off your shoes and feel the grass beneath your feet. Listen to the rustling leaves of the trees, see them dancing with the breeze. Go over to a tree and touch the surface, how does it feel? Follow the tree to its roots, strong and firmly rooted, sense the power of the tree. Now feel that power within you. Be aware of your feet firmly connecting with the soil beneath you.
Pick up a blade of grass, hold it in the palm of your hand and observe the colour. See its perfection. Look up at the blue sky and allow yourself to feel the expansion it creates within you. As you slowly walk into your garden, listen to the sound of running water, hear the sound of nature, smell the perfumes and the freshness of the cut grass. Be aware of the atmosphere, the season and temperature.
There are three small steps leading down into a more secluded and private area of your garden. As you effortlessly walk towards the steps, you become increasingly aware of how at ease you feel. Experience the peace that embraces you. As you step into this private place, be aware of the stillness. Listen to the silence. Really be there and just observe and experience the peace.
Create a seating area. Make it as comfortable as you wish. Create a little shade if you need to cool off. Notice a hammock suspended from a couple of trees. This hammock is for total rest as and when you feel the need. Choose where you wish to rest and begin to hear yourself say the following affirmations:
‘I am in charge of my life.’
‘I am open to the part of me that knows.’
‘I am strong and resourceful.’
‘I am filled with power, grace and beauty.’
‘I trust and enjoy life’s process.’
‘Love expands within me and fills me.’
‘As I change internally, my external reality changes for me.’
‘I am vibrantly healthy.’
‘I am unique and valuable.’
‘I listen to my intuition.’
‘I forgive everyone including myself.’
‘I replace fear, anger and despair with love, forgiveness and hope.’
‘I breathe in love, I breathe in joy, I breathe in peace.’
‘I am confident in all situations.’
‘I love and approve of myself.’
Call to mind an image of yourself, simply acknowledge yourself without judgment.
*See Self-image
In this way you are instructing the brain to programme positive thought patterns. Try to create your own affirmations as well.
When fully relaxed, bring the thumb and middle finger into contact on each hand. Say to yourself, “whenever I prepare for meditation, this is how I will feel”. This creates an ‘anchor’ to bring back the memory of how you feel when relaxed and positive.
In time, with practise and using your anchor, you are able to reach this level of relaxation very quickly.
You are also developing your inner sense of vision.
Self-image
Your image of self should be given recognition and respect however you appear in meditation. This is the person you have lived your whole life with and the person you will live the remainder of your life with. Call on your own compassion and understand that the person you are looking at has done their best. See yourself as it is. Notice if this person is expressing something to you. Learn to see and acknowledge any emotions your image is expressing, you will see this when looking at the eyes. Understand, appreciate and encourage yourself when doing this work. Love and approval of who you are begins with self.
Over the years I have used self-image exercises with many people and for those who are not familiar with it, it can be an overwhelming experience. Should you feel an emotional upsurge when seeing yourself for the first time, allow the emotion to flow. Imagine moving toward your image and embrace yourself. Emotional content arising with this work is healthy; you are simply connecting to your feelings. More often than not we are so busy looking at others for our self worth and approval and in doing so; we are far removed from the core of where our power truly is. Your power is within you. Some people think the only way to see an image of self is to look in a mirror; this again is looking to the outside. LOOK WITHIN!!!
You can use ‘The Quiet Garden’ meditation as a base for other exercises in this book.
Two Brains
The brain has two hemispheres that function in different ways. The left brain is concerned with logic, rational thought processes and the intellect. When presented with non-logical information it becomes analytical.
The right brain is to do with intuition, creativity and emotional content. It is through the right hemisphere that we make contact with the all-knowing part of us. It is where inspiration, intuitive listening and new ideas occur.
Our society pays a great deal of attention to the logical / intellectual left side of the brain. This tells us that our attention is focussed on only half of the brain and can indicate a state of being “out of balance”.
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In meditation we use the right brain, the intuitive side and by practising meditation we can work the two hemispheres harmoniously. Intuition, imagination and creativity can be developed.
The brain is a physical structure, the command centre of your body. It is a magnificent instrument but is something we all understand too little. The brain is a physical instrument and is yours to direct, to command.
The brain has levels of activity. These are known as ‘Brain Rhythms’, and they are defined as:
Beta: The speed of brain rhythm is 13 to 40 cycles per second. This is the level of our normal waking state.
Alpha: The speed of brain rhythm is 8 to 13 cycles per second. This is more relaxed and one can attain a meditative state. This state is also induced through hypnosis and autosuggestion. In this state the senses are withdrawn internally and conscious awareness is enhanced. This state facilitates visualisation and the senses can be directed as you choose.
Theta: This is a deeper level of relaxation in the brain and the Theta brain rhythm is 4 to 7 cycles per second. As Alpha overlaps with Theta a deeper meditative level is attained.
Delta: The speed of brain rhythm is 0.5 to 3 cycles per second. This is our normal sleep state. When Theta overlaps with Delta, sleep will occur. It is possible to attain this level with conscious awareness in meditation.
You can imagine the brain as an orchestra and every orchestra needs a conductor.
You have the ability to relax brain activity by withdrawing the senses and consciously instructing the brain to relax the body such as, ‘my shoulders are relaxing’. Once the body is relaxed and quiet you can begin to take your focus to other areas of your mind / life that require attention. Inner calmness will allow you to develop intuitive reasoning rather than logic reasoning when creating necessary change in your life.
The world-renowned lecturer Paul Solomon discovered that when he remained silent and listened, stopped the chatter and racing thoughts, he could get answers another way. He called this process intuitive reasoning instead of conclusive reasoning. Instead of using logic he would simply listen and receive answers from his intuitive mind.
When using meditation for personal development, it is important that you move into your meditation with clear intention. If you are looking for change in your life you will need a direction, a way forward or a goal to help you get there. Successful change involves understanding your intention, having a clearly defined plan and committing to take action.
Meditation can help in the process of formulating the best outcome. If you have several options to consider in creating change, see each of the potential outcomes in your vision and pay attention to the feelings. Some imaging may be clearer than others and your feelings may change with each vision. You may hear your inner voice, your thoughts, more clearly in one image than another. Your gut reaction will help you make the right choice towards the best outcome and you will have a feeling of certainty.
Asking yourself questions in meditation is ‘key’ to unlocking and discovering what you want. Never focus on what you don’t want, it is wasted energy. To discover the secrets of 28 inspiring people who use good questions in conversations that create change in the lives of others, do link onto my website www.lindyshearer.co.uk and you can find a link to Judy Barber’s book ‘Good Question! The Art of Asking Questions to Bring About Positive Change’.
Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious
The word ‘consciousness’ can be categorised in psychological terms as conscious, unconscious and subconscious.
The conscious Mind
The conscious mind is that which you are conscious of at this moment. It is constantly learning and active in your daily routine. It tires easily when not given proper care and nurturing such as relaxation, good diet and healthy stimulation.
The Unconscious Mind
The unconscious mind is the part that you are not conscious of. It contains all wisdom and intelligence. It stores the sum total of your memories. It is the seat of all emotions.
As you naturally seek deeper understanding of your life’s purpose/direction, you begin to shine the torch, (conscious mind) into the unconscious, (within). By asking yourself appropriate questions you may discover that old beliefs are lurking in your unconscious and blocking you from experiencing your potential and the true nature of who you are.
With awareness and new skills you can draw the unconscious causes of inhibitions/fears and doubts that cause limitation in your life to a conscious level. With choices you can begin to make changes that serve you better. As an adult you can re-write the story of your childhood experiences. You may not change the events, but you can certainly change the emotional content, thoughts and beliefs about who you are now in relation to that time.
The Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind is ever aware. It regulates body maintenance and autonomic processes such as breathing and blood circulation. It receives messages from our conscious and unconscious mind. All the messages it receives are acted upon as instructions.
People often know that they are thinking and behaving in ways that do not serve them or others well. When someone decides to take action to change such debilitating behaviour, the mere intention and commitment (courage of conviction) can often be enough to shift a pattern of thought and belief at an unconscious level.
The subconscious is the gate master to inhibitions, fears and hang-ups. These debilitating fears are usually formed at a young age and the subconscious has been instructed by the conscious mind to assist and protect us. Many fears, (memories), reside in the shadows of our mind, (unconscious). They are in fact still responding and responsible for some of what we lack in life. The seeds sown from an early age have developed. They grow like weeds in the garden and act as a barrier to the original hurt.
Through sensory observation the subconscious functions by association. For example, we have programmed our minds to stop when we see traffic lights. When you are looking at the outside world the subconscious reflects on the similarities with past events. The relevant facts are processed through the conscious mind and then the subconscious mind determines our emotional reaction and behaviour.
Do you remember watching a stage hypnotist? The hypnotist implants a belief into the subconscious mind of a participant. This could be, “You are Michael Jackson and when I count to three you will stand and perform”. After the count of three, the participator behaves in accordance with the belief, believing he/she for that moment is Michael Jackson.
The subconscious mind at this point has gathered all the data stored within the mind regarding Michael Jackson, singer and dancer. It quite literally creates the persona and performs on the count of three! A belief was created and acted upon when instructed. The subconscious mind cannot differentiate instruction from your conscious or that of another. That’s why subliminal messaging, hypnosis and auto suggestion works so well.
Tell a child often enough they are stupid and they will believe it. The subconscious mind will always honor the belief. Check out your belief system!
Your subconscious mind gives you exactly what you ask for. Should you feed your subconscious mind with negative thoughts of fear, failure, poverty and ill health, guess what? The subconscious mind will loyally carry out plans and the reality mirror will reflect back. Should you conversely maintain an input of positive thoughts such as success, happiness, self-value and appreciation, the subconscious will create plans necessary for that experience and your reality will reflect this back to you.
If you question the subconscious mind in relation to negative beliefs, the subconscious will take you to the experience of when the belief was formed and will bring it into your awareness. This is best achieved in a very relaxed state such as alpha level within meditation. This work can also bring with it the emotional content around the negative belief that has been unexpressed. Allow yourself to release these feelings when you feel them. Remember also, you may wish to do this work with the support of a therapist or coach. In today’s modern world you can find this support by telephone coaching as well as face to face. I offer telephone coaching as well as face to face, when geographically appropriate. You can visit my website at www.lindyshearer.co.uk
You can also download the ‘Wheel of Life’ exercise free on my website to help you make a start in identifying which areas of your life require change. This will also help when preparing your intention in meditation. Go to www.lindyshearer.co.uk and click on Personal Development.
Thoughts and Beliefs
Negative thoughts and beliefs bring lack and limitation into life. Thought is a creative force. Hold a pen in your hand. Before that pen existed, it was an idea in the form of thoughts and pictures in someone’s mind.
Our lives are much like this: we create our reality from our thoughts and beliefs. For change to manifest in our life, we use the same process that was used to create a pen and make it reality. The idea of the pen had been well formed in the creator’s mind. So, we now know is, that the reality of a pen first exists within mind before it existed in the real world. What creative potential we have!
When life is not as we desire it to be, it is wise to address what it is we truly want, what we value and check whether our beliefs support what we want. Too many people search the external world for change rather than focus on the inner personal world of thoughts and beliefs that hold us back from change.
Success for change is usually down to the questions we ask. If you don’t believe you are good enough to have or do what you really want, go into a meditative state using the Quiet Garden and repeat this question until you receive an answer: “Where did I learn to believe the belief that I am not good enough?” In repeating this question and being quiet to receive the answer, (don’t look for the answer - the subconscious mind will do the work for you), you may be surprised at what comes to mind. You may begin to understand why you held that negative belief. You can view it from the perspective of who you are today and instruct the change. You may remember the visual experience of the belief, imagine going into the vision and give that part of you back then exactly what you needed emotionally, such as, support, love and encouragement. Watch the image of your picture change; you are freeing yourself from the false belief. Brilliant! Use your affirmation work at this level. The belief can change with new thoughts that are more in keeping with what you want and believe now. You are also instructing the subconscious mind through vision and feelings to let go of the old while accepting the change you now believe you are and deserve. Project forward an image of yourself in a future situation with your new found confidence. This work may cause emotional reactions so allow yourself to express what you feel.
If you had no confidence and began to question why, perhaps you would respond with accessing thoughts and feelings that give evidence to the question in hand. Some of us may have specific memories when lacking confidence while others may have a general feeling that stops them being confident. These thoughts and feelings are beliefs that have been set in place through our experiences.
Memories of experience are thoughts that have combined to create a belief. Beliefs are attached to pictures, sounds, feelings and so on from the time the belief originated. At a particular time in the past someone had interpreted their experience with thoughts. From those thoughts a belief was stored. All too often the origin of a negative belief is forgotten.
Once an interpretation has been given to a thought it becomes a reference point in the subconscious to enable someone to understand the world. It becomes part of a structure that the subconscious mind will use to filter and sort all subsequent thoughts. Thoughts will provoke more thoughts, creating a complex of similar beliefs. The subconscious mind compares everything to the past filing cabinet, the stored beliefs and does so accurately. We may have experienced pain from a visit to a dentist but does that mean every visit is going to be painful? Does it make every dental visit a trauma? For some people it does but the answer is no. It is the belief you formed around your experience that is the threat. The fear is there to protect you from pain.
We can see the cleverness of this process: it does indeed serve us in so many ways. It helps us survive. It is a necessary process in our early development. Children would not survive without this process. A child touching a hot stove will be cautious before touching it again. A child scorned for its natural instinct to explore will learn quickly how to conform for survival. What a beautiful natural learning strategy, and all for survival.
As adults the strategy doesn’t change. If you are still host to those false beliefs, work on the above exercises and re-write your story. With wisdom we can set up beneficial beliefs that best serve what we want and who we authentically are. Remember, for every change you make from the past, project forward a future image seeing the new belief in action. Get Hungary for change and become the powerful being that you already are! So what do you really want and what has stopped you getting there? Go change it.
Consider how primary beliefs are formed.
In our early childhood, we are unknowingly in a very insecure position. We love our parents/guardians unconditionally and find ways to keep them happy. We very quickly learn how to behave for our survival and sense of belonging. At the same time, we are being taught ways in which to behave, what to do, what to say and how to be. We are being psychologically cultivated!
We loyally accept ways of thinking or behaving as correct. As we have not yet developed the ability or maturity to question whether these demonstrations and teachings are acceptable, appropriate or justified, they inevitably become part of our primary belief system. Young children filter information as absolute, without question.
Our imagination is also experiencing and storing information as correct. An example of this is a primary belief in Father Christmas. The subconscious mind is establishing a belief system that influences our experience and interpretation of life.
It is inevitable that the belief in Father Christmas is challenged. With no evidence to maintain the belief, it has to shift. Unfortunately many other false limiting beliefs were stored at primary level and are still with us. They have never been challenged. This can result in a limited developmental process as we grow up. If a future event challenges such false beliefs, we may avoid the event like the plague. What we are really avoiding is the uncomfortable feelings we hold in the experience that created the belief - unexpressed feelings.
All of us are still host to early experiences and beliefs. We may not be consciously aware of the beliefs that cause limitation but they are lurking in the unconscious mind.
Consider the situation regarding Father Christmas. With new evidence the belief in Father Christmas is challenged. It is easily accepted and with new understanding the subconscious shifts at the primary level. It establishes the new belief that Father Christmas is fictitious. This is an easy situation to use for understanding that old beliefs can change as it doesn’t involve much emotional content or threat to us in letting it go.
That suggests that in taking awareness to other beliefs and finding new evidence we can change anything in our belief system that limits our potential. This may require letting go of emotions such as inappropriate fear and guilt from past experiences.
Changing a belief
Consider this: If we believe we cannot do something that is important for our growth and progression in life, consider what it would look like if we could.
The following exercise will reinforce what you have practiced from the book already. This exercise can be used at any time but be sure to read and practice The Quiet Garden meditation first.
Exercise 4
This work is empowering in meditation.
Imagine yourself in your quiet garden. Choose a belief that holds you back from doing what you want in life. You may choose to work on an area of dissatisfaction in your life. Just for a moment, I want you to suspend the belief that stops you moving forward... Begin to imagine what it would look like doing the very thing you want to do. Be very descriptive in your image and leave nothing out. Create everything that would occur if the event were happening right now. Create the whole atmosphere. Take your time creating this, size, colour, distance, sound, movement and so on. Now, what does it feel like doing what you want, being where you want to be? Be sure the image and feeling is strong. You can do this by making the colour brighter, turning up the volume or making the picture larger. The image is yours to create. Make sure you are comfortable with the strong feelings.
Once the feeling is desirable, imagine stepping into that picture and really being there experiencing doing what it is you truly want to do. Look back at the way things used to be and notice what is different. Write down what that difference was, putting a label to the old state.
You have now created an experience through meditation and imagination for the subconscious to use as a reference point for future outcomes. The subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between reality and imagination, and so experiences your visual creations and feelings as real.
Now project forward an image of yourself doing what it is you really want to do. How does it feel? The feeling should have changed from the original feeling when you thought you couldn’t do it. You have just moved beyond your barrier of your false belief. You are creating new resources. Now imagine the old state, ask yourself some questions...What am I letting go of? What will I lose by letting it go? If you want to let it go, see the old image shatter into pieces.
Doing this exercise in a meditative state is very powerful and will create good feelings that can give you the enthusiasm to change your reality. Now set yourself some goals to action that will take you closer to what you want
If you find you are unable to do this exercise with old beliefs or you are not aware of what is holding you back, you may need to invest in external support from a therapeutic coach to help you access root causes and support you through desired change. You can download my Break Free Brochure from my website for details of one to one coaching, www.lindyshearer.co.uk.
Self esteem and Confidence
If you bake a cake and don’t like the taste, would you bake it again? Some of us would add some flavouring to mask the unpleasant taste and others would change the recipe until the desired taste was achieved. Some may believe they failed and that they cannot bake cakes. They never try again.
This is akin to attitudes towards self-esteem. Many of us host negative beliefs about our abilities in some areas of our life and this results in low self-esteem and inadequate self-image. This can affect our confidence. We can get very clever at disguising those beliefs from others and we wear different masks for different people.
In order to change this we have to change the recipe, change our thinking. “As I change internally, my external reality changes for me”.
Through visual techniques we see the negative image we want to change, see it shatter and see the new image as we would like it to be with the accompanied feelings of confidence. We are instructing the subconscious to de-programme the old and re-programme the new. Visualisation can alter thoughts and beliefs and in time you can create a very positive and powerful self-image. Always remember your intention, which should be for the highest good of yourself and others.
Personal Growth
We have free will and it is by choice that we grow. Wise words have been shared with us through the history of our evolution:
• ‘Knock and the door is opened.’ I believe this is about asking self good questions.
• ‘Seek and you shall find.’
• ‘Ask and it is given to you.’
• ‘Be open to receive.’
• ‘Become as little children before you enter the gates of heaven.’ I believe what is meant here is that in being childlike / trusting, we open to receive the heavens within, ‘your intuitive knowledge’.
Surrender and trust to the world of knowingness within, the Higher Self.
I often hear these words: “We live in a male dominated environment.” and it is usually women who say it. What I think is lacking is the true understanding of the male and female traits in each of us. Woman has been in denial of her female qualities as much as man has. Women are also becoming more aware and in doing so they are developing and asserting their male qualities. It is also true of men. They too are becoming more aware of the female power within them and asserting life also. The balance of male and female energy becomes a creative force. We humans are made from it.
In today’s modern world, more and more of us are now listening and participating in personal growth and are beginning to understand that we are not at the mercy of the outer world. This awareness naturally calls for deeper meaning and for respect for the human creative mind. Self-respect earns the respect of the universal principles that govern us.
Too many of us are still hosting painful feelings that are guarded by our thinking mind; we create masks to hide our true feelings. We stay in denial of the receptive part of our nature. We must learn to release the layers of hurt emotions and false beliefs that hold us back from authentically expressing who we are.
Remember, your inner world will create your outer reality. Be good to yourself and know that you deserve a life in which you can truly be yourself. Always focus on what you want and imagine it to be true.
I have personally gone through a journey of change and I have used every exercise in this book with myself and others and I continue to use them today.
Choose Growth.
Personal Development through Meditation
At the Heart of Meditation is the Art of Transformation
Lindy Shearer
A little informative eBook to help you on your way
CONTENTS
Introduction 2
About Me 3
The Inner Connection to Personal Growth 4
Preparation for Meditation 5
Physical Relaxation 6
Creative Visualisation 8
The senses in Meditation 10
Two Brains 13
Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious 16
Thoughts and Beliefs 17
Consider How Primary Beliefs are formed 19
Changing a Belief 20
Self Esteem and Confidence 22
Personal Growth 23
Introduction
STRESS! Yes we all have it in today’s modern lifestyle and stress can become a constant companion, having a negative impact on mental and physical wellbeing. All of us have inner resources to combat this and meditation can assist you and encourage you to live a stress free life.
Meditation is a powerful tool for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development. Withdrawing the senses from external stimuli allows us to focus the conscious mind inwardly. With proper instruction we can relax, replenish the central nervous system and eliminate stress and anxiety.
All too often people experience life as conveyor belt, with daily repetitive tasks resulting in a feeling of existing rather than being truly engaged in purposeful living. Meditation can assist us by raising awareness for developing the unlimited potential of who we are and what we can achieve.
When you understand that everything you do is a direct result of what you believe, think and feel from within, you will soon discover that as you change internally, your external reality changes with you.
About me
My early life in Glasgow was no walk in the park. As a young adult I entered therapy and discovered I was sustained by a drive that arose from a fundamental belief in the uniqueness of the individual and their potential. I knew that applied to me just as it applies to everyone.
Through the many years of meditation, study and personal development that followed I came to realise that we exist in order to express our potential, the choices we make determining whether we live our lives to our fullest capability. Since our potential and the choices we make are exclusively ours, each of us is distinctively unique, exceptionally gifted, genuinely the only one of our kind. I also discovered an inner world of communication with my self that was to shape my future.
The gift I now share is the wonder of discovering, respecting and valuing the uniqueness and potential of every individual I encounter.
Through commitment to my work in my Break Free Practice, I have grown to understand that my goal in life is to bring out the best in others. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to work with so many people who have wanted change in their lives and to have helped them along the way.
My hope is that the information shared here can help you to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. The inner journey of meditation is a gentle process that will help you move beyond the mask of limitation. It can heal psychological conditions which hold you back from true expression.
The best to you
Lindy Shearer
Dynamic life change Consultant
www.lindyshearer.co.uk
The inner connection to personal growth
We can all identify with the iconic movie ‘The Wizard of Oz’.
Each Character is searching for a quality they believe they don’t have. On the journey to Oz. they face many fears that hold them back, but eventually they discover that what they were searching for was already within them.
Much of our search in life is like that. We chase the outside world for change, approval and self worth.
Every individual has a unique purpose in life and many are awakening from the slumbers of cultural conditioning. People are choosing a more spiritual and purposeful destiny by connecting and embracing intuitive knowledge from within.
Preparation for Meditation
In order to meditate successfully, we have to learn to relax the whole body.
Relaxation is the absence of tension. Tension, in this context, is muscular tightness or contraction. It naturally fluctuates depending on the degree of physical activity.
Muscles in their natural state will have a slight tension or tone. Our environment can determine our muscle tone, for example it varies with the temperature of a room or with how warmed up our muscles are when preparing for a race.
Thinking can induce pictures in our mind and our thoughts can also influence muscle tone. Thinking of a winter scene can cause muscles to tighten, whereas visualising a warm summer’s day can have a relaxing effect. Our everyday thoughts and experiences are constantly affecting the central nervous system, which in turn determines our muscular tension and behaviour.
In modern society, the workplace can be a stressful environment where physical and mental tension occurs daily. All too often people experience painful physical symptoms and mental stress. These tensions cause energy to burn up easily and can leave tiredness. Without proper care and nurturing we can feel exhausted.
The knock-on effect if this can be far reaching. In my Break Free Practice many clients come to me in such an overwhelmed state that they don’t know where to begin. Their lives are so out of balance, their relationships bordering on dysfunctional if not already, their confidence and performance levels are at an all time low and in some cases a loss of identity occurs.
If you are suffering any of the above symptoms a good place to start is learning to relax. We are able to think more clearly and to focus our attention when in a relaxed state.
When preparing for relaxation or meditation, it is necessary to choose a warm environment. Here is an exercise through which we can use our senses to relax the skeletal muscles into a natural physical state.
Physical Relaxation
Exercise 1
It will help if you tape the following relaxation or get a friend to talk you through it.
Lie out fully stretched with the eyes closed.
Breathe deeply and, at the same time, take the arms overhead and interlink the fingers.
As you breathe out, push the hands away from the head. Simultaneously, push the heels away from you and feel the body lengthen and stretch.
Take the arms forward and rest them by your side, palms facing upwards.
Become aware of your contact points touching the floor by taking your conscious mind through the body:
Start with taking your awareness to the back of the heels touching the floor. Move up to the back of the calf muscles and relax the muscles by letting go of any tension you feel in that area. Continue to the back of the knees, thigh muscles, buttocks, lower back, back of the waist, shoulder blades, back of the neck. Allow the head to be in a comfortable position. Be aware of the back of the arms.
Now, become aware of your breath. Do not interfere with the breath: just be aware of the location of your breathing. Observe the rising and falling of the abdomen with each inhalation and exhalation. Just allow yourself to be a witness to the rising and falling of the breath for one minute.
Notice that each exhalation allows you to relax more deeply. Allow yourself to let go with each exhalation. The out breath is the natural tranquilising breath.
Take your conscious mind through your body beginning with the head. As you breathe out allow the tranquillising breath to soothe any areas where you feel tension.
For each part of the body from head to toes, say to yourself:
“My head is relaxing. My head is deeply relaxed. My eyes are soft and relaxing. My eyes are soft and relaxing. My jaw is relaxing. My jaw is relaxing. I am letting go of all the tension in my face. My neck is resting comfortably. My neck is relaxing. My shoulders are relaxing. My arms and hands are relaxing. My chest area is relaxing. My waist……. and so on throughout the whole body until you reach the feet. Now allow yourself to experience the whole body’s relaxed state.
Remember, the energy of the out-breath will be directed to the part of the body you are conscious of. Energy (or breath) follows consciousness.
Take a deep breath and hold for a few seconds, let go and feel all the remaining tension flow out of your whole body. Imagine being a feather floating in the sky. How does it feel?
Tell yourself, ‘I am totally relaxed, completely relaxed’.
Affirm to yourself, ‘Whenever I want to relax, this is how I will feel.’ and feel it!
Practise every day. You will soon move into a relaxed state very quickly.
Creative visualisation
Visualisation is something we all do already: it is a blueprint from which we construct our lives. Almost everything you’ve done you probably thought about before you did it. That thinking usually includes visualising.
You project how a situation will be and you imagine what it will look like, feel like and sound like. Some people don’t always see an image clearly but they know it is there by the sounds they hear or how things feel. It is a common practice for people but not everyone realises that they can control these images and feelings. Through Meditation you can question these states and recognise whether they are taking you forward in a positive way or holding you back in a negative way. Then you can change them.
Studies have shown that very successful people use imaging in their personal strategies for achieving goals. They can see clearly in their mind what a situation will look like and feel like and this helps to motivate them towards creating a goal and achieving it.
Many people are unknowingly creating their own negative reality by visualising negative thoughts and images. They worry so much about doing something wrong that they create an image of failure and terror. They then go about fulfilling that vision. A self-fulfilling prophecy!
Positive visualisation accomplishes the positive in the same way that negative thinking accomplishes the negative. Using visualisation in meditation helps us preview our goals, makes us comfortable with the reality we are creating. It lets us know when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.
We can use our imagination to create anything in our mind. Should you want to relax mentally and physically, you can imagine walking on a beach with the warmth of the sun on your body or around a lake surrounded with beautiful mountains.
Exercise 2
How do you visualise? What senses are you using?
The following exercise will allow you to experience visualisation using all the senses internally.
• Close your eyes and think of the Statue of Liberty. How does it look?
• Touch the petal of a red rose in your mind. How does it feel?
• Think of a lemon. Imagine cutting it in half, and now imagine squeezing the juices into your mouth. Notice your response.
• See a telephone in your mind. Hear it ringing.
• See and smell freshly cut grass. Pick up a blade of grass and place it in the palm of your hand.
Your senses will get sharper with practise like this.
In meditation we withdraw our senses from the external world and, as in the previous exercise, they wait at our will for instruction internally. We can conduct and instruct our subconscious mind and it ensures that we are developing the best resources within us to be the best we can be.
We can never create actual certainty in life but we can create an inner certainty of who we are in relation to it. Then we can handle any situation from a positive perspective. We always have choices in our ability to respond - That’s literally our ‘Response-Ability’.
The senses in Meditation
Exercise 3
It will help if you tape the following relaxation or get a friend to talk you through it.
Meditation: The Quiet Garden
Move into a seated or lying position, remain quiet and contact the breath.
Relax the body (as in exercise one).
Now that you feel very relaxed and safe in the knowledge that you will become quickly alert should anything need your attention, you will feel calm, confident and refreshed, able to access any information you require.
Imagine you are going to create a beautiful garden. Fill it with coloured blossom and flowers, trees and shrubs. Make your garden as grand as you wish. There is no limitation in meditation. Create a water feature and see and hear the crystal clear water delightfully rippling around the feature. Cup some water in your hands and taste the freshness in your mouth.
As you walk amongst the colourful shrubs and trees, feel the sun against your face and a slight wind playfully blowing through your hair. Take off your shoes and feel the grass beneath your feet. Listen to the rustling leaves of the trees, see them dancing with the breeze. Go over to a tree and touch the surface, how does it feel? Follow the tree to its roots, strong and firmly rooted, sense the power of the tree. Now feel that power within you. Be aware of your feet firmly connecting with the soil beneath you.
Pick up a blade of grass, hold it in the palm of your hand and observe the colour. See its perfection. Look up at the blue sky and allow yourself to feel the expansion it creates within you. As you slowly walk into your garden, listen to the sound of running water, hear the sound of nature, smell the perfumes and the freshness of the cut grass. Be aware of the atmosphere, the season and temperature.
There are three small steps leading down into a more secluded and private area of your garden. As you effortlessly walk towards the steps, you become increasingly aware of how at ease you feel. Experience the peace that embraces you. As you step into this private place, be aware of the stillness. Listen to the silence. Really be there and just observe and experience the peace.
Create a seating area. Make it as comfortable as you wish. Create a little shade if you need to cool off. Notice a hammock suspended from a couple of trees. This hammock is for total rest as and when you feel the need. Choose where you wish to rest and begin to hear yourself say the following affirmations:
‘I am in charge of my life.’
‘I am open to the part of me that knows.’
‘I am strong and resourceful.’
‘I am filled with power, grace and beauty.’
‘I trust and enjoy life’s process.’
‘Love expands within me and fills me.’
‘As I change internally, my external reality changes for me.’
‘I am vibrantly healthy.’
‘I am unique and valuable.’
‘I listen to my intuition.’
‘I forgive everyone including myself.’
‘I replace fear, anger and despair with love, forgiveness and hope.’
‘I breathe in love, I breathe in joy, I breathe in peace.’
‘I am confident in all situations.’
‘I love and approve of myself.’
Call to mind an image of yourself, simply acknowledge yourself without judgment.
*See Self-image
In this way you are instructing the brain to programme positive thought patterns. Try to create your own affirmations as well.
When fully relaxed, bring the thumb and middle finger into contact on each hand. Say to yourself, “whenever I prepare for meditation, this is how I will feel”. This creates an ‘anchor’ to bring back the memory of how you feel when relaxed and positive.
In time, with practise and using your anchor, you are able to reach this level of relaxation very quickly.
You are also developing your inner sense of vision.
Self-image
Your image of self should be given recognition and respect however you appear in meditation. This is the person you have lived your whole life with and the person you will live the remainder of your life with. Call on your own compassion and understand that the person you are looking at has done their best. See yourself as it is. Notice if this person is expressing something to you. Learn to see and acknowledge any emotions your image is expressing, you will see this when looking at the eyes. Understand, appreciate and encourage yourself when doing this work. Love and approval of who you are begins with self.
Over the years I have used self-image exercises with many people and for those who are not familiar with it, it can be an overwhelming experience. Should you feel an emotional upsurge when seeing yourself for the first time, allow the emotion to flow. Imagine moving toward your image and embrace yourself. Emotional content arising with this work is healthy; you are simply connecting to your feelings. More often than not we are so busy looking at others for our self worth and approval and in doing so; we are far removed from the core of where our power truly is. Your power is within you. Some people think the only way to see an image of self is to look in a mirror; this again is looking to the outside. LOOK WITHIN!!!
You can use ‘The Quiet Garden’ meditation as a base for other exercises in this book.
Two Brains
The brain has two hemispheres that function in different ways. The left brain is concerned with logic, rational thought processes and the intellect. When presented with non-logical information it becomes analytical.
The right brain is to do with intuition, creativity and emotional content. It is through the right hemisphere that we make contact with the all-knowing part of us. It is where inspiration, intuitive listening and new ideas occur.
Our society pays a great deal of attention to the logical / intellectual left side of the brain. This tells us that our attention is focussed on only half of the brain and can indicate a state of being “out of balance”.
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In meditation we use the right brain, the intuitive side and by practising meditation we can work the two hemispheres harmoniously. Intuition, imagination and creativity can be developed.
The brain is a physical structure, the command centre of your body. It is a magnificent instrument but is something we all understand too little. The brain is a physical instrument and is yours to direct, to command.
The brain has levels of activity. These are known as ‘Brain Rhythms’, and they are defined as:
Beta: The speed of brain rhythm is 13 to 40 cycles per second. This is the level of our normal waking state.
Alpha: The speed of brain rhythm is 8 to 13 cycles per second. This is more relaxed and one can attain a meditative state. This state is also induced through hypnosis and autosuggestion. In this state the senses are withdrawn internally and conscious awareness is enhanced. This state facilitates visualisation and the senses can be directed as you choose.
Theta: This is a deeper level of relaxation in the brain and the Theta brain rhythm is 4 to 7 cycles per second. As Alpha overlaps with Theta a deeper meditative level is attained.
Delta: The speed of brain rhythm is 0.5 to 3 cycles per second. This is our normal sleep state. When Theta overlaps with Delta, sleep will occur. It is possible to attain this level with conscious awareness in meditation.
You can imagine the brain as an orchestra and every orchestra needs a conductor.
You have the ability to relax brain activity by withdrawing the senses and consciously instructing the brain to relax the body such as, ‘my shoulders are relaxing’. Once the body is relaxed and quiet you can begin to take your focus to other areas of your mind / life that require attention. Inner calmness will allow you to develop intuitive reasoning rather than logic reasoning when creating necessary change in your life.
The world-renowned lecturer Paul Solomon discovered that when he remained silent and listened, stopped the chatter and racing thoughts, he could get answers another way. He called this process intuitive reasoning instead of conclusive reasoning. Instead of using logic he would simply listen and receive answers from his intuitive mind.
When using meditation for personal development, it is important that you move into your meditation with clear intention. If you are looking for change in your life you will need a direction, a way forward or a goal to help you get there. Successful change involves understanding your intention, having a clearly defined plan and committing to take action.
Meditation can help in the process of formulating the best outcome. If you have several options to consider in creating change, see each of the potential outcomes in your vision and pay attention to the feelings. Some imaging may be clearer than others and your feelings may change with each vision. You may hear your inner voice, your thoughts, more clearly in one image than another. Your gut reaction will help you make the right choice towards the best outcome and you will have a feeling of certainty.
Asking yourself questions in meditation is ‘key’ to unlocking and discovering what you want. Never focus on what you don’t want, it is wasted energy. To discover the secrets of 28 inspiring people who use good questions in conversations that create change in the lives of others, do link onto my website www.lindyshearer.co.uk and you can find a link to Judy Barber’s book ‘Good Question! The Art of Asking Questions to Bring About Positive Change’.
Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious
The word ‘consciousness’ can be categorised in psychological terms as conscious, unconscious and subconscious.
The conscious Mind
The conscious mind is that which you are conscious of at this moment. It is constantly learning and active in your daily routine. It tires easily when not given proper care and nurturing such as relaxation, good diet and healthy stimulation.
The Unconscious Mind
The unconscious mind is the part that you are not conscious of. It contains all wisdom and intelligence. It stores the sum total of your memories. It is the seat of all emotions.
As you naturally seek deeper understanding of your life’s purpose/direction, you begin to shine the torch, (conscious mind) into the unconscious, (within). By asking yourself appropriate questions you may discover that old beliefs are lurking in your unconscious and blocking you from experiencing your potential and the true nature of who you are.
With awareness and new skills you can draw the unconscious causes of inhibitions/fears and doubts that cause limitation in your life to a conscious level. With choices you can begin to make changes that serve you better. As an adult you can re-write the story of your childhood experiences. You may not change the events, but you can certainly change the emotional content, thoughts and beliefs about who you are now in relation to that time.
The Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind is ever aware. It regulates body maintenance and autonomic processes such as breathing and blood circulation. It receives messages from our conscious and unconscious mind. All the messages it receives are acted upon as instructions.
People often know that they are thinking and behaving in ways that do not serve them or others well. When someone decides to take action to change such debilitating behaviour, the mere intention and commitment (courage of conviction) can often be enough to shift a pattern of thought and belief at an unconscious level.
The subconscious is the gate master to inhibitions, fears and hang-ups. These debilitating fears are usually formed at a young age and the subconscious has been instructed by the conscious mind to assist and protect us. Many fears, (memories), reside in the shadows of our mind, (unconscious). They are in fact still responding and responsible for some of what we lack in life. The seeds sown from an early age have developed. They grow like weeds in the garden and act as a barrier to the original hurt.
Through sensory observation the subconscious functions by association. For example, we have programmed our minds to stop when we see traffic lights. When you are looking at the outside world the subconscious reflects on the similarities with past events. The relevant facts are processed through the conscious mind and then the subconscious mind determines our emotional reaction and behaviour.
Do you remember watching a stage hypnotist? The hypnotist implants a belief into the subconscious mind of a participant. This could be, “You are Michael Jackson and when I count to three you will stand and perform”. After the count of three, the participator behaves in accordance with the belief, believing he/she for that moment is Michael Jackson.
The subconscious mind at this point has gathered all the data stored within the mind regarding Michael Jackson, singer and dancer. It quite literally creates the persona and performs on the count of three! A belief was created and acted upon when instructed. The subconscious mind cannot differentiate instruction from your conscious or that of another. That’s why subliminal messaging, hypnosis and auto suggestion works so well.
Tell a child often enough they are stupid and they will believe it. The subconscious mind will always honor the belief. Check out your belief system!
Your subconscious mind gives you exactly what you ask for. Should you feed your subconscious mind with negative thoughts of fear, failure, poverty and ill health, guess what? The subconscious mind will loyally carry out plans and the reality mirror will reflect back. Should you conversely maintain an input of positive thoughts such as success, happiness, self-value and appreciation, the subconscious will create plans necessary for that experience and your reality will reflect this back to you.
If you question the subconscious mind in relation to negative beliefs, the subconscious will take you to the experience of when the belief was formed and will bring it into your awareness. This is best achieved in a very relaxed state such as alpha level within meditation. This work can also bring with it the emotional content around the negative belief that has been unexpressed. Allow yourself to release these feelings when you feel them. Remember also, you may wish to do this work with the support of a therapist or coach. In today’s modern world you can find this support by telephone coaching as well as face to face. I offer telephone coaching as well as face to face, when geographically appropriate. You can visit my website at www.lindyshearer.co.uk
You can also download the ‘Wheel of Life’ exercise free on my website to help you make a start in identifying which areas of your life require change. This will also help when preparing your intention in meditation. Go to www.lindyshearer.co.uk and click on Personal Development.
Thoughts and Beliefs
Negative thoughts and beliefs bring lack and limitation into life. Thought is a creative force. Hold a pen in your hand. Before that pen existed, it was an idea in the form of thoughts and pictures in someone’s mind.
Our lives are much like this: we create our reality from our thoughts and beliefs. For change to manifest in our life, we use the same process that was used to create a pen and make it reality. The idea of the pen had been well formed in the creator’s mind. So, we now know is, that the reality of a pen first exists within mind before it existed in the real world. What creative potential we have!
When life is not as we desire it to be, it is wise to address what it is we truly want, what we value and check whether our beliefs support what we want. Too many people search the external world for change rather than focus on the inner personal world of thoughts and beliefs that hold us back from change.
Success for change is usually down to the questions we ask. If you don’t believe you are good enough to have or do what you really want, go into a meditative state using the Quiet Garden and repeat this question until you receive an answer: “Where did I learn to believe the belief that I am not good enough?” In repeating this question and being quiet to receive the answer, (don’t look for the answer - the subconscious mind will do the work for you), you may be surprised at what comes to mind. You may begin to understand why you held that negative belief. You can view it from the perspective of who you are today and instruct the change. You may remember the visual experience of the belief, imagine going into the vision and give that part of you back then exactly what you needed emotionally, such as, support, love and encouragement. Watch the image of your picture change; you are freeing yourself from the false belief. Brilliant! Use your affirmation work at this level. The belief can change with new thoughts that are more in keeping with what you want and believe now. You are also instructing the subconscious mind through vision and feelings to let go of the old while accepting the change you now believe you are and deserve. Project forward an image of yourself in a future situation with your new found confidence. This work may cause emotional reactions so allow yourself to express what you feel.
If you had no confidence and began to question why, perhaps you would respond with accessing thoughts and feelings that give evidence to the question in hand. Some of us may have specific memories when lacking confidence while others may have a general feeling that stops them being confident. These thoughts and feelings are beliefs that have been set in place through our experiences.
Memories of experience are thoughts that have combined to create a belief. Beliefs are attached to pictures, sounds, feelings and so on from the time the belief originated. At a particular time in the past someone had interpreted their experience with thoughts. From those thoughts a belief was stored. All too often the origin of a negative belief is forgotten.
Once an interpretation has been given to a thought it becomes a reference point in the subconscious to enable someone to understand the world. It becomes part of a structure that the subconscious mind will use to filter and sort all subsequent thoughts. Thoughts will provoke more thoughts, creating a complex of similar beliefs. The subconscious mind compares everything to the past filing cabinet, the stored beliefs and does so accurately. We may have experienced pain from a visit to a dentist but does that mean every visit is going to be painful? Does it make every dental visit a trauma? For some people it does but the answer is no. It is the belief you formed around your experience that is the threat. The fear is there to protect you from pain.
We can see the cleverness of this process: it does indeed serve us in so many ways. It helps us survive. It is a necessary process in our early development. Children would not survive without this process. A child touching a hot stove will be cautious before touching it again. A child scorned for its natural instinct to explore will learn quickly how to conform for survival. What a beautiful natural learning strategy, and all for survival.
As adults the strategy doesn’t change. If you are still host to those false beliefs, work on the above exercises and re-write your story. With wisdom we can set up beneficial beliefs that best serve what we want and who we authentically are. Remember, for every change you make from the past, project forward a future image seeing the new belief in action. Get Hungary for change and become the powerful being that you already are! So what do you really want and what has stopped you getting there? Go change it.
Consider how primary beliefs are formed.
In our early childhood, we are unknowingly in a very insecure position. We love our parents/guardians unconditionally and find ways to keep them happy. We very quickly learn how to behave for our survival and sense of belonging. At the same time, we are being taught ways in which to behave, what to do, what to say and how to be. We are being psychologically cultivated!
We loyally accept ways of thinking or behaving as correct. As we have not yet developed the ability or maturity to question whether these demonstrations and teachings are acceptable, appropriate or justified, they inevitably become part of our primary belief system. Young children filter information as absolute, without question.
Our imagination is also experiencing and storing information as correct. An example of this is a primary belief in Father Christmas. The subconscious mind is establishing a belief system that influences our experience and interpretation of life.
It is inevitable that the belief in Father Christmas is challenged. With no evidence to maintain the belief, it has to shift. Unfortunately many other false limiting beliefs were stored at primary level and are still with us. They have never been challenged. This can result in a limited developmental process as we grow up. If a future event challenges such false beliefs, we may avoid the event like the plague. What we are really avoiding is the uncomfortable feelings we hold in the experience that created the belief - unexpressed feelings.
All of us are still host to early experiences and beliefs. We may not be consciously aware of the beliefs that cause limitation but they are lurking in the unconscious mind.
Consider the situation regarding Father Christmas. With new evidence the belief in Father Christmas is challenged. It is easily accepted and with new understanding the subconscious shifts at the primary level. It establishes the new belief that Father Christmas is fictitious. This is an easy situation to use for understanding that old beliefs can change as it doesn’t involve much emotional content or threat to us in letting it go.
That suggests that in taking awareness to other beliefs and finding new evidence we can change anything in our belief system that limits our potential. This may require letting go of emotions such as inappropriate fear and guilt from past experiences.
Changing a belief
Consider this: If we believe we cannot do something that is important for our growth and progression in life, consider what it would look like if we could.
The following exercise will reinforce what you have practiced from the book already. This exercise can be used at any time but be sure to read and practice The Quiet Garden meditation first.
Exercise 4
This work is empowering in meditation.
Imagine yourself in your quiet garden. Choose a belief that holds you back from doing what you want in life. You may choose to work on an area of dissatisfaction in your life. Just for a moment, I want you to suspend the belief that stops you moving forward... Begin to imagine what it would look like doing the very thing you want to do. Be very descriptive in your image and leave nothing out. Create everything that would occur if the event were happening right now. Create the whole atmosphere. Take your time creating this, size, colour, distance, sound, movement and so on. Now, what does it feel like doing what you want, being where you want to be? Be sure the image and feeling is strong. You can do this by making the colour brighter, turning up the volume or making the picture larger. The image is yours to create. Make sure you are comfortable with the strong feelings.
Once the feeling is desirable, imagine stepping into that picture and really being there experiencing doing what it is you truly want to do. Look back at the way things used to be and notice what is different. Write down what that difference was, putting a label to the old state.
You have now created an experience through meditation and imagination for the subconscious to use as a reference point for future outcomes. The subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between reality and imagination, and so experiences your visual creations and feelings as real.
Now project forward an image of yourself doing what it is you really want to do. How does it feel? The feeling should have changed from the original feeling when you thought you couldn’t do it. You have just moved beyond your barrier of your false belief. You are creating new resources. Now imagine the old state, ask yourself some questions...What am I letting go of? What will I lose by letting it go? If you want to let it go, see the old image shatter into pieces.
Doing this exercise in a meditative state is very powerful and will create good feelings that can give you the enthusiasm to change your reality. Now set yourself some goals to action that will take you closer to what you want
If you find you are unable to do this exercise with old beliefs or you are not aware of what is holding you back, you may need to invest in external support from a therapeutic coach to help you access root causes and support you through desired change. You can download my Break Free Brochure from my website for details of one to one coaching, www.lindyshearer.co.uk.
Self esteem and Confidence
If you bake a cake and don’t like the taste, would you bake it again? Some of us would add some flavouring to mask the unpleasant taste and others would change the recipe until the desired taste was achieved. Some may believe they failed and that they cannot bake cakes. They never try again.
This is akin to attitudes towards self-esteem. Many of us host negative beliefs about our abilities in some areas of our life and this results in low self-esteem and inadequate self-image. This can affect our confidence. We can get very clever at disguising those beliefs from others and we wear different masks for different people.
In order to change this we have to change the recipe, change our thinking. “As I change internally, my external reality changes for me”.
Through visual techniques we see the negative image we want to change, see it shatter and see the new image as we would like it to be with the accompanied feelings of confidence. We are instructing the subconscious to de-programme the old and re-programme the new. Visualisation can alter thoughts and beliefs and in time you can create a very positive and powerful self-image. Always remember your intention, which should be for the highest good of yourself and others.
Personal Growth
We have free will and it is by choice that we grow. Wise words have been shared with us through the history of our evolution:
• ‘Knock and the door is opened.’ I believe this is about asking self good questions.
• ‘Seek and you shall find.’
• ‘Ask and it is given to you.’
• ‘Be open to receive.’
• ‘Become as little children before you enter the gates of heaven.’ I believe what is meant here is that in being childlike / trusting, we open to receive the heavens within, ‘your intuitive knowledge’.
Surrender and trust to the world of knowingness within, the Higher Self.
I often hear these words: “We live in a male dominated environment.” and it is usually women who say it. What I think is lacking is the true understanding of the male and female traits in each of us. Woman has been in denial of her female qualities as much as man has. Women are also becoming more aware and in doing so they are developing and asserting their male qualities. It is also true of men. They too are becoming more aware of the female power within them and asserting life also. The balance of male and female energy becomes a creative force. We humans are made from it.
In today’s modern world, more and more of us are now listening and participating in personal growth and are beginning to understand that we are not at the mercy of the outer world. This awareness naturally calls for deeper meaning and for respect for the human creative mind. Self-respect earns the respect of the universal principles that govern us.
Too many of us are still hosting painful feelings that are guarded by our thinking mind; we create masks to hide our true feelings. We stay in denial of the receptive part of our nature. We must learn to release the layers of hurt emotions and false beliefs that hold us back from authentically expressing who we are.
Remember, your inner world will create your outer reality. Be good to yourself and know that you deserve a life in which you can truly be yourself. Always focus on what you want and imagine it to be true.
I have personally gone through a journey of change and I have used every exercise in this book with myself and others and I continue to use them today.
Choose Growth.