The sardine to the kipper said,
"If I were bigger, we could wed".
To which he’d loftily replied,
"I’d never want you for my bride!".

"But why?”, implored the poor sardine,
"You’re the finest catch I’ve ever seen".
"Because I’m smoked and in my prime,
while you are small and soaked in brine.

You lie in tins with all your mates,
while I adorn the breakfast plate.
It’s obvious I’m liked the most -
for you are simply served on toast!"

She felt her eyes sting - was she cryin’?
Or was it salt from all that brine?
She had to reassess her fate
and find herself a loving mate

The haughty kipper’d ne’er be true -
she didn’t know quite what to do.
She knew he was a doubtless cad …
but then she met a handsome crab!

She soon fell for this suave crustacean
who filled her heart with pure elation.
And now she’s got a little ‘nipper’
and never thinks about the kipper.