John Heath-Stubbs confronted James Brown
in heaven with his good eye. He'd been
meaning to tell him for years, but never found
the right moment. He said, "Turn that racket down."

The godfather of funk looked round.
He'd never been silenced, and counted it off
one more time. He said, "John, we have two
things in common: the rejection of all things cool,
and a hatred of the modern. If I said use
few personal pronouns, would you comply?"