H20 007

Dear Controller of ITV,

Can you put something different on TV,
rather than Bond’s mix of
Girls, gadgets and gentle Misogyny,
and soap operas never show any one watching the Queen,
Just a lot a shouting, and swearing, clear this misery from our screen.

Don’t call me Scrooge, but the Snowman has seen it’s day.
Give the Children something new,
That their parents can’t remember from the first time around.
Only Fools and Horses, don’t be daft,
Only Eric and Ernie made me laugh.
That and Fork Handles, The Dead Parrot Sketch,
My Children were happy with Spirograph and Etch a Sketch.
They had none of the blood lust that these kids have today.
I read it in the Daily Mail, so it must be true.

Now that I have your attention,
I hope you have taken my points to your heart.
Maybe you would have got it right,
If it had been right from the start.
My concerns are only those of a simple man.
I pay my license, I do what I can.

I have seen the Great Escape so many times before,
And I don’t want to watch the comedy anymore.
All of this swearing really is not for me,
All I want is something good to watch on TV,
That’s what gives a sense of Family,
It’s what turns a house into a home,
I have asked all of my friends,
And they agree with me, in having these thoughts,
I really am not alone.

We are only H20, memories and blood,
It is what makes as so alike, and so different.
Good will to all men, good will to all men,
Kindness to all, and season’s greetings to strangers,

Many thanks for listening to my concerns,
Season’s greeting to you and yours,

Yours faithfully,

A loyal member of your audience.