INTERVIEWER: And so Mr Cameron, I want to question you about your views on the hoodie culture.

CAMERON: Yes.

INTERVIEWER: It’s all gone down very badly with the grass root support within the Conservative Party, hasn’t it?

PAUSE WHILE INTERVIEWER WAITS FOR CAMERON TO RESPOND BUT ALL HE DOES IS STARE BLANKLY.

INTERVIEWER: Well, perhaps not the wisest initiative? (PAUSE) Mr Cameron?

CAMERON: (SOUNDING LIKE THE ‘LAUEN’ CHARACTER FROM CATHERINE TATE) I don’t know nuffink about that.

INTERVIEWER: Yes you do. You were widely reported in the press.

CAMERON: (PAUSE) Am I bovvered?

INTERVIEWER: (VAGUELY) Pardon?

CAMERON: Am I bovvered, though?

INTERVIEWER: But surely you…..

CAMERON: I ain’t bovvered.

INTERVIEWER: Yes, but…

CAMERON: Do I look bovvered?

INTERVIEWER: Well….

CAMERON: Does my face look bovvered?

INTERVIEWER: No, but….

CAMERON: Is this face bovvered?

INTERVIEWER: If you just let me ask….

CAMERON: Ask me if I’m bovvered.

INTERVIEWER: But I’m not!

CAMERON: Face.

INTERVIEWER: No, I….

CAMERON: Bovvered.

INTERVIEWER TRIES TO ASK SEVERAL QUESTIONS BUT IS REBUTTED EACH TIME WITH “Face – bovvered – face – bovvered” UNTIL THERE IS A PAUSE.

INTERVIEWER: Are you bovvered?

CAMERON: No, who told you I was bovvered?

INTERVIEWER: Nobody!

CAMERON: Are you calling me a pikey?

INTERVIEWER: What?

CAMERON: Are you disrespecting me?

INTERVIEWER: No – I’m just saying….

CAMERON: Are you disrespecting my party?

INTERVIEWER: I didn’t….

CAMERON: (FIRMLY) I AIN’T BOVVERED!!


END