It was still dark as the Reverend John Walsh pulled the Rectory door closed behind him. He shivered as the icy January wind sliced through his robes and thin jacket. Snow began to fall. He did not quicken his step.

He hadn't slept for three weeks. He was so very tired. Anxiety pulled at his guts, the heaviness in his heart was unbearable. As the key twisted in the lock of the church door, a knife twisted in his soul.

In the vestry he robed. He didn't pray. At the altar, he bowed and lit the candles, their light kaleidoscoping through unshed tears. He knelt, broken by his emptiness.

"Let us pray".

The words caught in his throat. As he spoke the Holy Communion, nausea washed over him and he longed to vomit up his hypocrisy.

"Hymn No 271, O Jesus, I have promised."

How did this happen? When? Was it that he woke up one morning and realised that it was all a dream? Was it as he sat and watched the news?... eleven men arrested at Heathrow under anti terrorism act...carnage as car bomb explodes in busy market place in Iraq...Israeli war planes bombard Lebanon for a fifth night...mutilated body of a child found by man walking his dog...scientists believe global warming is to blame for flooding...eighty two year old woman raped in her bed...

John placed the bread in his mouth and walked along the alter rail, feeding and blessing. "Take. Eat. This is my body that was given for you"... He drank the wine. "Drink ye all of this for this is my blood that was shed for you..."

His mind flicked through the Sky channels...this week's Lottery winner scoops ten million... don't miss the return of Big Brother... on tonight's X Factor...ultimate exercise machine for perfect pecs...hate your body? why not try a boob job, liposculpt, face lift...adults only subscribe now...the girls are waiting for your call...

"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord"

John locked the church and vomited onto the fresh snow.

It was almost light as Mr John Walsh pulled the rectory door closed behind him for the last time.