I used to love this time of year,
Summer's knock upon the door.
But now the season's wrecked again,
Big Brother's back once more.

I know it's just a TV show,
I can always change the channel.
I can't miss those who watch it though
And bore me with their flannel!

It's worst when I head off to work,
A half-hour long commute,
For BB's biggest fans, it seems,
Have joined me on this route.

'Did you see Deklan have his strop?'
They lap it up. I wince.
'Or what about that one last week
When Shell got off with Vince!'

'Yeah, Deklan lost his pack of fags.
I swear that Tasha nicked it'
I understand fans like to chat
But why must they inflict it

On me, and all the others here,
Crammed into the train.
If I hear once more how Craig got drunk
I think I'll go insane!

At last, we're there! I hear one say,
'Who d'ya think'll win it?'
My wish is that the house falls down
With all those half-wits in it!