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Super-jumbo

by  joanie

Posted: Thursday, May 18, 2006
Word Count: 192
Summary: 'News' excercise in Poetry Seminar.




Final version

Sometimes
he would catch a glimpse,
when the sun called him out
mug in hand to grab a moment
of freshness in his break from

monotony.

Solemn
he would watch the slow
low-loader taking his handiwork
away from the confines of
Wales to lift 800 passengers

at once.

Today
his upturned face joins
thousands. Misted eyes stare
unbelieving, knowing that
the bolts he tightened to a thousandth

played their part.

Looking down
Strongman finds it difficult
to focus behind

the tears.



Original version
Sometimes
he would catch a glimpse,
when the sun called him out
mug in hand to grab a moment
of freshness in his break from

monotony.

Solemn
he would watch the slow
low-loader taking his handiwork
away from the confines of
Wales to lift 800 passengers

at once.

Today
his upturned face joins
thousands. Misted eyes stare
unbelieving, knowing that
the bolts he tightened to a thousandth

played their part.

Strongman finds it difficult
to focus behind

the tears.

re-worked last few lines to clarify that it's the pilot
Looking down at the sea
of heads tilted skywards,
Strongman finds it difficult
to focus behind

the tears.