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One Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog

by  Mickey

Posted: Thursday, May 11, 2006
Word Count: 242
Summary: Burgess Hill is about 7 miles north of Brighton and, each year they hold a Summer Festival which includes a separately run poetry competition. One of the themes in 2004 was ‘The day the Queen came to Burgess Hill’ I submitted the following poem, but was disappointed when the organizer asked me to change the title which she considered irreverent to HM. I declined to accept her censorship and she in turn declined to accept my entry.




The day that the Queen came to Burgess Hill
was back in the summer of ‘55
She’d said to Prince Philip, “Now listen up Phil,
One dearly would love to learn, how One should Jive”

The Duke replied, “Lizzie, Society Balls
never go in for these ‘modern’ delights –
But I’ve heard, down in Sussex, that most Village Halls
hold Rock n’ Roll sessions on Saturday nights”

And so, incognito, the Royal limousine
headed for Brighton ‘neath warm summer skies
with a trusted old chauffeur, while Dukey and Queen
were hid in the back under heavy disguise.

In less than an hour, the Royal chauffeured car
was almost in sight of the South Sussex coast,
when, out of the stillness, they heard from afar
a beat that got tapping all twenty Royal toes

They stopped and dispatched this discreetest of drivers
to park up the Rolls while the pair sought the Dance -
And that’s how Her Majesty joined all the Jivers
(and how she found Burgess Hill purely by chance!)

Then, at last free from all sycophantic shoe-lickers,
the Queen with her hair in a back-combed beehive,
and the Duke in his drainpipes and long winkle pickers
for once in their lives felt completely alive

And from that day forth, there’s been nobody finer
at Rock n’ Roll dancing throughout all the Land
than our very own Monarch, one Betty Regina,
who learnt all her steps from a Burgess Hill band!